A Red Thread Connection

New Blog

2010-06-13T18:58:00.002-04:00

I think it's time I moved away from Blogspot and onto my own domain and Wordpress. So please follow me along to Sweet and Sour World. I actually semi-started it a few weeks ago, but have debated when to fully switch over to there. I think it's time.

It's a public blog. You just need to update your subscription or your bookmarks.

This blog will remain open and accessible for awhile, but I'll probably eventually close it down entirely.

Nothing Good To Report

2010-06-12T20:16:00.003-04:00

I'm still waiting for USCIS to get their act together and issue my renewal. They issued one and it had a mistake on it (that THEY made) and now they are fighting me and my social worker on fixing it. If they don't fix it, I don't go to China. Unfortunately, the adoption officer at my USCIS office has a major chip on her shoulder and will not admit that she's made a mistake. So she's making me and my social worker jump through hoops, beg, plead, cry, and basically grovel, and it's still not enough.

I don't know when this is going to be resolved. Or how. I am positively devastated right now.

What the USCIS worker says is wrong in my homestudy was copied word for word (well, personalized to my situation, but otherwise exactly the same) as the sample wording that the USCIS publishes on their web site. Word for word. And she is saying it is wrong. That it is not enough. We've submitted multiple revisions and none of them are good enough.

All because she cannot admit that she made a mistake.

My social worker has been doing these for over a decade. She owns her own agency. She has adopted 2 children herself (from China). She has NEVER been asked to do these things.

I don't know what to do. My social worker seems to think that if we jump through enough hoops that she will just suddenly do an about face and fix the "problem". But she has to make it appear that we are the ones making the mistakes in order to take the heat off of herself. Maybe. But why? Why does MY child have to suffer because she is an incompetent fool?

LOA!

2010-05-24T14:24:00.002-04:00

My LOA (letter of acceptance) arrived today. Travel could happen in as soon as 6 to 8 weeks ONLY if I get my I-600A paperwork back.

I am so ANGRY! I drove the 4+ hours up to Washington DC 11 days ago because they lost my paperwork twice. They promised me they would expedite the renewal. But nothing. They haven't done a thing. Or, I haven't received anything yet.

Please, if you pray, pray that my renewal comes in the next day or two. If USCIS causes me yet another delay, I am going to have to be restrained or something. I just don't think I can handle anymore of their incompetence!!!!!!!!!!! What should be a happy day today is ruined because of them. I need that renewal and I need it NOW!

Thank you! And an update...

2010-05-14T23:18:00.006-04:00

Thank you for all of the sweet and loving comments you've left me here on the blog and in my email. I'm still both in shock and absolutely thrilled! And I'm sure there are some of you that may have wanted a reply. I'm still working through everything. If I missed you, please feel free to send me another email. I'm not intentionally ignoring anyone. :)

It's amazing. This blog rarely got any visitors before the referral. I think I had around 10 visitors a day. Then once I got my referral, I had a couple of days of 1500+ visitors and am still getting a few hundred each day. So fun!

The last couple of weeks have been a total whirlwind. Despite having 3 years of waiting behind me, I have basically done nothing to prepare for a baby. I know, I know! It's so ridiculous. But I kept thinking that if I bought too many things or did too much preparation that somehow I would jinx myself. This whole process has been so unpredictable that I really had many days where I felt that it wasn't going to ever happen, and that fear prevented me from doing too much preparation. I think I was trying to protect myself.

But, now I have a LOT to do. I have managed to buy a stroller and car seat this past week. I am getting her care package ready this weekend. And I think I'm going to finally get around to painting the nursery this weekend as well.

Here's a picture of the care package (only I haven't bought the disposable cameras or the candy for the nannies yet).

I spent Thursday driving up to Washington DC (a 4+ hour drive from here) to hand deliver my I-600A paperwork for my renewal. Get this... I sent it to them TWICE in the last 2+ months and they LOST BOTH SETS! So I had to drive the third copy up there and hand it to them in order to make sure this one didn't get lost. And yes, both packages were sent FedEx and were signed for. Don't get me started on how I feel about these lost packages. Furious wouldn't even begin to describe me. Anyway, they let me go ahead and get fingerprinted that day as well. And they promised me a very quick turnaround. Hopefully I will have it in my hot little hands within a week.

After that comes, I hope LOA is quick to follow! I'm ready to go to China!!!

REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-05-05T12:45:00.001-04:00

I finally received PA for my baby girl, so I can make the announcement!

Sophie Eloise QiuHong

(currently named Wan QiuHong)

Born: February 2, 2009

Location: Chongqing, China, currently living in the Wanzhou Social Welfare Institute.

Name Meaning: "Wan" is her last name. It was taken from the SWI that she is living in which is called "Wanzhou". All of the babies in her orphanage have that last name. "QiuHong" means "leaves in autumn" (which is my FAVORITE season). It is pronounced "Cho-Hong".

Referral Photos

Miracles Happen

2010-04-21T13:38:00.001-04:00

I cannot divulge much more than that. Yet. But suffice it to say, I am OVER THE MOON!

More details to come. :)

As if things weren't bad enough...

2010-04-20T15:20:00.003-04:00

I sent in my updated homestudy and big, fat check to renew my I600A and fingerprints last month (AGAIN). I sent it Fedex and someone signed for it on March 9. But as of today, April 20, my check has not been cashed and I have not received any fingerprint appointment.

So I emailed USCIS. Turns out, they have no record of having received anything from me. Thankfully I was able to supply them with a tracking number, but right now all they will tell me is that they are "investigating".

All of my stuff has now expired. If they don't find it or let me send in new copies, that means I'll have to start over under Hague. I really, really don't want to do that. I am grandfathered under the old process for a reason!

So please pray that they either find it or let me send in everything again, even though I am past the expiration date.

One more setback and I am going to explode! GAAH!!!!

3 Years Ago Today

2010-04-20T09:17:00.002-04:00

Three years ago today I was logged in. Three years.

I remember when I was just logged in that the current wait was less than 2 years. I was also told by many people that it would NEVER surpass 2 years. Ha!

So now we're at 3 years and I would assume I had another 4 or 5 years to wait if I was continuing in the NSN program. And I'm not. But since that's where I started, I still feel the anger and pain over that wait.

Even in my current program, I'm looking at another 15 to 20 more months of waiting.

I'm looking forward to this blog having happy news in it. I'm looking forward to feeling like posting more than once every 3 or 4 months. Let's hope that 2011 is my year.

MCC? Check!

2010-01-12T14:27:00.004-05:00

I faxed over my Medical Conditions Checklist to my agency yesterday and got confirmation that they received it. They are saying 18 to 24 months until a match. So I've still got a bit of a wait, but at least I actually have a rough idea of when it will happen.

I'm so excited!!!!!!

Homestudy Visit? Check!

2010-01-09T18:20:00.003-05:00

Today my social worker drove down the 4 hours from her location to mine for my 3rd homestudy update visit of this adoption process. I felt terrible that she had to drive so far, but since she accepted me as a client (and I'm paying her a gob of money), I let that guilt go. LOL!

Anyway, it was short and sweet but I'm glad it's over. As soon as she finishes her revision of my homestudy, I'll send it along with another big giant check to USCIS for the THIRD renewal. I've already used my first free one, so this one requires payment. Can you hear the money being sucked out of my bank account? Sigh.

But she also signed my Medical Condition Checklist for the Waiting Child Program, which I'll be faxing in to my agency this week. That's the really good part of all of this.

All in all, progress is being made I suppose. I'm trying REALLY, REALLY hard to get in a better mood. The last few weeks (months really) have been less than pleasant, as my last few blog posts have shown. I'm not sure what "rock bottom" is but I think I may have hit it. Hopefully I'm on the upswing now.

Happy New Year

2009-12-30T20:14:00.003-05:00

Christmas is over and frankly, I'm glad. It gets harder every year trying to pretend to enjoy it while I am stuck in this adoption Hell on Earth that seems like it is never going to end.

And this whole year was just kind of bad. Not my worst year, by far. But still, it wasn't great. So needless to say, I wasn't really in the holiday spirit. I didn't send Christmas cards. I didn't decorate my house. I ordered all my Christmas presents online because I couldn't stand the thought of having to be out in public with all the holiday decorations and music and such. So yeah, bah humbug. If you sent me a card, thank you. And just know that I didn't snub anyone in particular by not sending you a card in return. I snubbed everyone. So don't take it personally. :) Hopefully next year I will be in a better holiday mood.

So goodbye 2009 and hello 2010. Please be better.

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T10:49:00.003-05:00

We give thanks for unknown blessings
already on their way.
~Author Unknown

Status

2009-11-26T10:25:00.006-05:00

On November 6, the China Center for Adoption Affairs had a regime change, with the hiring of a new Director. What this means for adoption from China, no one really knows. But they have not released any new referrals in a while and I doubt it's a coincidence. I have a feeling some changes are on the way. This is not a rumor or anything, just a gut feeling.

I thought the slowdown last year was bad, but this year has been significantly worse. Not only do they continue to refer fewer children each time, but they aren't even doing the referrals every month anymore. And no one knows why. There's speculation of course. It could be because of the H1N1 virus. It could be a quota in place on the number of adopted children. It could be anything really. No one knows for sure.

In early 2008 I had made the decision to put in my application for the Waiting Child program, but then I didn't do it. I researched many special needs and picked the ones I was comfortable with. But the timing wasn't right. I don't know why, but something was keeping me from doing it at that point. But now I feel pulled in the opposite direction. I feel like now is the time to submit my checklist and start the process for a Waiting Child.

So, my homestudy has to be updated in January when I renew my I-600 for the 3rd time. At that point, I will get everything in place to submit the checklist and start that wait. I think once I submit, I am looking at 1 to 2 years until referral. Hopefully no more than 18 months. Although I have been saying since I started this process that I would get a referral in 2010. I don't know why, but that's always been my gut feeling. So maybe if it's closer to 12 months, I'll actually do it. :) Even if it's 2011, that's ok. I finally feel like it's going to happen. And I couldn't be more excited or more ready. :)

52 Days, 4 LIDs

2009-10-12T20:21:00.001-04:00

It took them 52 days to send referrals this time and they only matched 4 days (2 of which were weekend days).

What else can I possibly say?

Pity Party for One Please

2009-09-13T10:36:00.003-04:00

Almost 3 months has passed since I last updated! It's been a busy summer. And to be honest, I've been down about the status of this adoption, so blogging has been the last thing on my mind. It's just taking so long. They're only up to March 24, 2006. My LID is April 20, 2007. But since they are only doing a couple of days a month, I'm nowhere near to the point of getting my referral.

And to make matters worse, it seems that the majority of single moms that I connected with in the beginning of the process have received their babies or dropped out. Don't get me wrong. I am so HAPPY for those that have been matched or found their children in other programs! Many have switched to Special Needs and have found their children or have switched to domestic or other country adoption programs. Some were ahead of me in the Non-Special Needs line and have received their referrals. Whatever the reason, they are with their babies or about to get their babies, and I am thrilled for them. But I sort of feel like I'm out here alone all of a sudden. I know that's not true. I know there are still other singles who are waiting. But it seems like most are laying low like me, trying to live life without constantly worrying about whether or not this adoption is ever going to happen, putting their lives on hold for fear that any changes they make may put their approvals in jeopardy. To be honest, it just sucks. And there are likely many more years of waiting ahead.

So, yeah, I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself right now. I'm not proud of that, but it is what it is. Summer is winding down, cooler temps are coming (thank goodness!), and the holidays are around the corner. Time for me to snap out of it I guess. :)

Referrals finally?

2009-06-17T15:26:00.002-04:00

Looks like the CCAA finished the review of both May and June 2007 in record time. May 2007 is when the new rules for who could apply to adopt from China were implemented and since a LOT of people were shut out, there is speculation that the numbers of people who applied were significantly less than previous months. I guess that means they can get through the Review pretty quickly. Seems odd that they are reviewing people who may not get a referral for many more years, but I guess progress is progress.

And my agency posted that matching was complete and that referrals should be mailed soon! Thank goodness. It appears that the swine flu may still be impacting the rate of referrals since they are coming out less frequently. I know the timing of referrals always varies a bit, but the last couple of months have seemed extraordinarily slow.

Here's hoping for a BIG batch!!!!

I-600A Renewal

2009-05-22T15:44:00.000-04:00

After many months of headaches and paperwork nightmares, I walked out of the USCIS office today with my I-600A renewal. Seeing as though it took almost 9 months for them to process it, and it's only good for 18 months, I get to start this process all over again in January. So thanks a lot USCIS. Uggh.

Referrals!

2009-05-21T13:04:00.001-04:00

Praise God! Referrals are arriving after all. So the rumors were definitely wrong. Shame on those 2 agencies for reporting false information to their clients!

And they got through 6 days, which isn't terrible I guess. Better than the last couple of months. :)

Nothing until September!!

2009-05-14T19:53:00.003-04:00

I've heard from people at 2 different agencies (not mine) that China is essentially closing down the entire adoption program until around September this year. No matching. No referrals. No travel approvals. Nothing. And supposedly it's because of the Swine Flu.

As of right now I am not 100% sure this is absolutely true. I'm scouring the internet trying to find out more. Even RQ isn't reporting this yet (although I'm sure it's just a matter of time). Anyone else have any info????

Day 40 - Still no referrals.

2009-05-13T12:55:00.003-04:00

The CCAA isn't admitting there is a forced delay but we are on Day 40 since the last round of referrals. That's a record, at least for the last few years. I think during the SARS outbreak a few years ago, it went longer.

But SARS was a legitimate problem. Swine Flu really isn't anymore. This is RIDICULOUS.

I hope that at least they continue to match. Maybe when they do finally send referrals, it will be a double batch. One can hope. :(

Swine Flu - Referrals Postponed

2009-04-30T10:03:00.004-04:00

As if things couldn't get any slower, the swine flu has caused a panic with the CCAA. The word is that they are going to postpone sending referrals out for another 20 to 30 days and are discouraging (maybe even forbidding) travel for those who've received their referrals until this swine flu pandemic passes. The final word on this situation is still up in the air, but it's not looking good.

My heart goes out to those with March 2006 LIDs who are awaiting their travel approvals or their referrals right now. I can't imagine how hard this must be. For people like me with a long time to wait anyway, I can only hope that maybe it won't have long term effects. Maybe once they do start issuing referrals again, they'll do some larger batches to catch up. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Out of Review!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-28T20:24:00.003-04:00

April 2007 log-ins are officially OUT of the Review Room. That means I'm cleared to adopt. Now if only everything else would speed-up, I'd be really happy. At least SOMETHING is moving forward I guess.

And I'm back from NYC. Pictures coming soon. :)

TWO YEARS!!!

2009-04-20T18:26:00.003-04:00

Do I really need to say more? Ok, I guess I do. :)

Today marks the 2 year anniversary of my log-in date. When I started this process, everyone told me it would never hit the 2 year mark, and yet here I am and probably am not even half way through this horrible wait.

But, life goes on. Wednesday I head to NYC with my good friend Rita for an extra long weekend that will include 4 Broadway shows, site seeing, shopping, and eating. I cannot wait!!!!!!!!!

3?

2009-03-02T12:10:00.003-05:00

An acquaintance of mine who supposedly has some psychic abilities told me that she senses the number "3" very strongly when asking about my adoption. Not knowing anything about the status of China adoption, she first said I'll get my baby in 3 months. But before I could correct her, she then said that it could also be 3 years. She also thinks my child will be born soon. Like within the next month. If she's right about that and the referral time, that would mean that I was getting a 3 year old at referral. I requested a child under 12 months old. And I'm only 36 years old myself. It's not very common to see an older child referred to a younger parent who didn't request it. So who knows?

Do I believe in this? Eh. I don't know. I think it's interesting to hear. And I'm posting it here because, well, if she is right I want some documentation of it! LOL!

I'm in Review!

2009-02-02T10:43:00.002-05:00

My agency updated their web site to say that the CCAA has now finished reviewing dossiers logged in through March 31, 2007. That means April 2007 is in Review, and that means that I am in Review.

Please pray that there are no problems!

For those outside of the adoption world, the Review Room is where someone in China actually reads through my Dossier and determines whether or not I meet all the criteria for adopting. If I do, I get sent to the Matching Room where I wait to be matched with a baby (of course that's still a very long way off, but at least I'll be in the room). It's not likely that there will be any problems since my agency is very good about making sure everything is on the up and up before sending it to China, but you never know.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

2009-01-26T11:45:00.003-05:00

It's the Chinese New Year, or Spring Festival, as the Chinese call it. The Year of the Ox is upon us. Happy New Year everyone!

I guess I can laugh about it now...

2009-01-25T19:27:00.005-05:00

I don't think there's been one step in this adoption process that has gone 100% smoothly. I don't know if it's just my bad luck, or if I'm being tested, or if this is just par for the course. But every step along the way has been met with challenges, bumps in the road, problems, etc. And this latest event is no exception.

On Friday I finally was able to get my fingerprints redone. I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere, so the first time I had them done I had to drive about 2 1/2 hours away. But in the meantime, they opened up a new USCIS building about 70 miles from home, so that's where I got to go this time. Let me just say, the experience was one I won't forget.

This building, unlike the other one I went to before, was ULTRA secure. We walked in and were immediately stopped by a burly security guard (with a gun), who informed us we needed to go through the proper security procedures. Over to the side, there was an x-ray machine and metal detector, just like the airport. Do all USCIS buildings have these now? Because when I went the first time, there was no such thing! But I don't know if that was just that location, or if maybe that location has added this type of security now too.

Anyway, I knew we weren't allowed to have cell phones, so we (Mom, Dad, and I) left them in the car. However, I wasn't prepared for what happened next. My purse was apparently FULL of "dangerous" items like my compact with mirror, my folding hair brush, a tiny little container of Bare Minerals eye shadow, and an empty glasses case. All of these items, one at time, resulted in my having to empty my purse to find the offending item and then sending the purse back through the machine. We went through this little process no less than 5 times. My purse would go back on the machine and the security guy would ask me something insane like "what is the dark round thing lying next to your wallet?". WTH???? My purse was full of crap! Isn't everyone's purse full of all kinds of junk? LOL! I never knew what he was talking about. Then he and the other guy would sit there staring at the monitor trying to figure out what it was for 5 minutes before sending it through and making me open it up and get it out. Then we'd start over again and we'd go through it again with another item.

To say I was frustrated and flustered would be an understatement. I felt like a criminal!

But then it was Mom's turn. Well, Mom had a camera and a tiny little Swiss Army Knife (obviously not allowed, but she forgot she had it), a small baggie of Oreo cookies, and some small knitting needles, all of which sent the security guards reeling. I had to take all of our offending items back out to the car and then come back through security. Thankfully my dad was willing to hold on to my purse so that I didn't have to go through that again!

Just let this be a warning - makeup, knitting needles, Oreo cookies, cell phones, cameras, glasses cases, and hand sanitizer are apparently every bit as dangerous as guns and knives. So don't bring them to your local USCIS office. Of course laptops are also not allowed, but I didn't bring my laptop, thank goodness.

But it's done now. Now I just hope they worked (my fingerprints are apparently difficult to take), and that I get my I-600A back quickly. It only took them 5 months to get me my fingerprint appointment, so I'm guessing I'll hear back by the end of summer. Sigh.

2 Days

2009-01-22T15:01:00.003-05:00

I guess "disappointed" doesn't really begin to cover it. I never bought into the rumor that it would be 3+ weeks, but I DID think it would be a decent number of days - like maybe 10 or so. Enough to indicate that things were improving. March is a big month, as far as number of people logged in. So doing 10 days in March would be like 20 days in most other months, or something like that.

But they didn't do that much. And I'm fine, albeit a little pi$$ed off. I'm not giving up hope though. I still feel that 2010 may be my year, one way or another.

Still, my agency is swearing that there will be more adoptions this year than last year. They are "cautiously optimistic", but they are also pretty conservative, so I do tend to believe them when they put something like this on the line.

The one good point is that we've had 3 referral batches in the last 6 1/2 weeks! Typically they come out about once per month, so really, even though this batch is only 2 days, they've managed to get through a total of 13 days in only 6 1/2 weeks. That's not too bad.

On to next month!

Some good rumors!

2009-01-15T11:07:00.006-05:00

It seems like most of the really good rumors in China adoption world rarely turn out to be true. But for some reason I feel differently about the rumors posted today in this post at Rumor Queen.

She's kind of vague, but hints that the rumors are quite good about a possible speed-up. Yeah, I know, I know! Don't listen to rumors. Don't get my hopes up. I get it. I do. But something feels different this time, and not just because of RQ's post.

When I started this process (got my singles spot in 2006), I had a feeling my referral would come in 2010. Of course back then people thought I was crazy to believe that the adoption would take 3 1/2 years. Not because that wasn't long enough, but because it was too long! LOL! Many people told me the wait would never even reach 2 years, so for me to think it would be over 3 years was practically blasphemous. :)

My how things change. Since getting logged in on April 20, 2007, the wait has increased practically exponentially. What used to be a 6 to 12 month wait has turned into a 3 year wait for those getting ready to be referred their children in this next batch. And without a speed-up, the wait is continuing to grow longer with each month's referral batch. Basically, I'm looking at what could be a 5, 6 or even 7 year wait if things continue along like they have been.

For whatever reason though, I've continued to cling to the notion that I will get my baby in 2010. I've done the math, so I realize the craziness of what I'm saying. I've posted about how sad I am about having to wait 5+ years, so it's not like I'm in denial. But deep down, 2010 has always kept reappearing in my thoughts.

My thinking over the past year has been that if 2010 is my year, then the only way that is going to happen is to switch to the Waiting Child program. But my circumstances have not allowed it yet. My living situation was in flux for awhile, which made getting a homestudy update difficult. And I also wanted to improve my financial situation a bit in case the referral came quicker than I expected. So for those 2 reasons, I haven't moved forward yet with applying for the WC program.

However, I have been feeling a push, deep down, to start getting ready. For about a year, I felt stuck, unable to make much progress as far as my living situation, my finances, etc. But over the last 2 or 3 months, it seems that God has finally opened the floodgates and things are lining up just the way they should. I moved and got my living situation settled. I've eliminated a large chunk of debt. I finally got the courage to give up a freelance job that took up all my free time, but that I was reluctant to give up because of the money yet I knew I couldn't continue with because of the stress and time constraints. The USCIS office MIRACULOUSLY processed my application for an I-600A renewal, even though my homestudy was turned in late. I've done a lot of things in a short period of time that seem to be moving me towards being ready for this baby.

So again, my thoughts have been focused on the waiting child program. I keep meaning to call my social worker to get my homestudy updated to get my WC application in, but haven't done it yet. Something keeps whispering to me to wait. But why? I've been researching special needs for a year now and know what I'm comfortable with. I'm not considering the switch solely to speed up the process. Yet, there seems to be something holding me back.

When I read the post on RQ today, instead of rolling my eyes and saying "yeah, right", like I normally do when I hear ultra awesome speed-up rumors, I said "could this be it?". Could it be that the speed-up we've been hoping and praying for really is going to happen this year? Could my feeling that my baby would come to me in 2010 be true after all, WITHOUT switching to the WC program?

I know better than to get my hopes up. I know that the likelihood of a major speed-up is practically nil. But God has performed bigger miracles than this, so why not?

So for today, I choose to think positive. I've certainly been wrong before, and could very well be wrong now. But for now, I choose to hope.

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T21:35:00.003-05:00

In a few hours it will be 2009. It's hard to believe that I started this adoption process in 2006!!!

There are a lot of things I wish for, but most of all my hope for 2009 is that the CCAA institutes a massive speed-up of referrals. :)

Happy New Year everyone!

Could it be?? A Christmas miracle from USCIS???

2008-12-23T13:18:00.004-05:00

A little background...

My I-600A expired in September 2008. My adoption agency and homestudy agency both initially stated that we could let it expire since there was no way we were going to get a referral before it expired a 2nd time. And since the process was changing over to the Hague requirements, I was not going to be able to renew it again. I would have to do an I-800 instead. So to save time and money, everyone said to just let it expire and when I get close to referral time, do the I-800.

This summer though, I started to second guess that decision. What if something changed and they would allow us to continue renewing? Or what if they decided that if we let things lapse, we had to meet the new requirements (which I don't meet)? Lots of fears kept nagging me even though my agencies were saying it would never happen and I'd be fine.

But at the last minute I decided to do the renewal anyway. It was free and couldn't hurt. It might end up being for nothing, but at least it would buy me 18 more months. Because I was living with my parents this time, they had to get fingerprinted too and I would have to pay for that but nothing else. No big deal. I sent in my application and payment for those fingerprints. I met with my homestudy agency and they did the update.

Of course, nothing is ever that easy though. First of all, USCIS returned the check for my parents' fingerprints and said I didn't have to pay. I thought that was strange, but ok, I'll take it! Then there were some snags along the way, some miscommunications, etc., some of which I don't understand. But my homestudy agency didn't get my update turned in to USCIS on time. In fact, because they missed the deadline, they didn't send it at all, only they didn't bother telling me that.

A few weeks after I thought they had sent it in, I contacted them to see if they had heard anything from USCIS since I hadn't and was waiting for fingerprint appointments. It was at that time that they let me know they never sent it in. Uggh. It was also about this time that it became known that if you didn't let your paperwork expire, you could now continue under pre-Hague rules until your adoption was complete. Of course I was LIVID because my homestudy agency didn't send it in and I expired. I think they sensed my anger (imagine that), and said that they would go ahead and send it in late and hope that USCIS would accept it. Historically, this USCIS office would NOT accept anything late, although I know some other offices were more lenient. This one typically isn't.

So fast forward to 2 weeks ago. I had not heard anything from USCIS in the 3 months since my homestudy agency finally sent in the update, so my assumption was that they tossed it out. But 2 weeks ago USCIS sent me a letter stating that they could not process my application until I paid for my parents' fingerprints! Ok, now remember above I mentioned that they returned the check I sent in for their fingerprints, so that was strange. But what's really odd is that they were still processing my application!!!! I was so excited! But, I was also hesitant because obviously with the fingerprint fee mix-up there was clearly some misunderstanding somewhere. I felt that probably this would not turn out well. Maybe they didn't notice the date of the homestudy yet but would later and I'd end up sending this money in for nothing.

So I emailed the adoption officer at USCIS and asked her what I needed to pay. Nearly two weeks later (today), I finally got an answer - send in money for my mom and dad's fingerprints, and they would process my renewal!!!! Holy cow!!!!!!

This means that apparently I will get to remain a pre-Hague case through the end of the adoption. It's not that I couldn't meet the Hague requirements, but this will be so much easier and cheaper. Yay!!!

Of course, I'm still remaining a bit cautious since something could still go wrong I guess. But the bottom line is that it's looking good.

Never mind that I no longer live with my parents. Shhhhh! Don't tell! :) I can't change my homestudy in the middle of the renewal. I have to get the renewal first, then go back and change the homestudy. Yes, that means having to pay $160 for their fingerprints that aren't even necessary at this point. But given the red tape involved, and the length of time involved in processing everything, I'm just going to go with it and get them fingerprinted, THEN change the homestudy. So next time I have to renew, they won't have to do anything. I just don't want to rock the boat in the middle of what is already a very precarious situation. And my parents don't mind.

So that's my USCIS Christmas Miracle! Well, maybe. ;)

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stomach Flu and Other Ramblings

2008-12-03T11:39:00.003-05:00

It wasn't pretty. I'm fine now, but Thanksgiving was a wash. Let's hope for a healthier Christmas! LOL!

I'm moving to a rental this weekend. I sold my house about a year ago and moved in with family while I figured out what to do next. Well, I still haven't figured that out yet ;), but I need my own space, so I'm renting a brand new (as in newly built) townhome. The economy has me a bit scared to even think of buying anything right now. And I'm still trying to finish saving up for the trip to China, so buying would make that more difficult. When my lease is up in a year, I'll reconsider. For now, I suppose this will do. There is a 2nd bedroom, so should baby come home before I move, there will be room.

Ahh, but I hate moving. Gotta get through this weekend, then maybe I can relax and wind down for the holidays.

2 Days?????????

2008-11-06T09:14:00.003-05:00

Did China really only get through 2 days this month? It's not official yet, but that's what it is looking like.

Only 427 days left until they get to me. I can't possibly roll my eyes enough at that prospect. So much for that post-Olympic speed-up.

This is painful. I feel like I've been punched in the gut.

I'm 36 years old.

2008-10-30T22:35:00.000-04:00

Today is my birthday and I'm turning 36. A year closer to 40, but I don't seem to be too worried about it. Last year when I turned 35, I was pretty miserable. I guess I've gotten used to the idea over the past year. :)

I had a wonderful dinner at a Japanese restaurant tonight with my family. My coworkers ordered pizza for me today at work. And some old friends from high school found me on FaceBook recently and sent me a virtual card today, which was such a pleasant but unexpected surprise.

All in all, it's been a good day.

18 months!

2008-10-20T20:43:00.003-04:00

Today marks 18 months since I was logged in with the CCAA. Rumor has it that some agencies are telling their clients that were also logged in during April 2007 that they are currently in Review! I have not heard that from my agency yet, and the CCAA has not updated their client web site to note that March 2007 was even finished yet. But I know I'm getting close! I'll be so glad when this step is over.

Click to help malnourished children!

2008-09-23T10:48:00.002-04:00

Doesn't cost you a dime! Please click here for more information: http://internationalmedicalcorps.smnr.us/

Time is running out!!!

February 2007 Out of Review

2008-09-23T09:07:00.002-04:00

The CCAA has announced that they are finished reviewing applicants logged in during February 2007. That means they are working on March 2007. And that means I will be next, since I'm logged in during April 2007!

What this means is that my application has been sitting in China collecting dust for 17 months so far, but no one over there has actually read through it or "approved me" to adopt. Once I am in "Review", my dossier will be read over with a fine toothed comb and I will be approved to adopt (crossing fingers!). Then my application will go to the "Matching Room" where I will wait to be matched with a baby. Of course, there is still a very LONG wait to be matched. That hasn't sped up any. I will still be very relieved to be out of Review though. :)

February 9, 2006

2008-09-05T13:08:00.002-04:00

The CCAA released the latest referrals and they got through February 9, 2006. That's 9 days from where they ended last month. Sounds pretty good, but we have to remember that 5 of those days fell over Chinese New Year when the CCAA wasn't working. So it's really just 4 days. :(

The good news is that this batch of referrals arrived only 22 days after the last batch of referrals. That's VERY fast. And, the Olympics fell during this 22 days. The CCAA office is in Beijing where the Olympics were held, and the fear was that they would close for that time period or at the very least be understaffed.

So you know what I think? I think they really matched through Feb. 9 LAST month and then split the batch in half, sending half before the Olympics and half afterwards. Last month's referrals ended on January 31, 2006, and Jan. 31 also fell during the Chinese New Year holiday that year. Why end on a date where there were no people logged in? They never do that. And then with them getting a 2nd batch out so quickly after the last one, especially with the Olympics distracting them, it just makes sense to me that they already had these matches done. By splitting it in half, they were able to get in a couple of weeks "breathing room".

If I'm right, then that would be a pretty decent sized batch. Not huge, but bigger than we've seen in a LONG time. I think if the next batch is very small, then my theory will be proven wrong. But if it's a bigger batch, then maybe I was right and maybe this is the turnaround we are hoping for?

Please help Half the Sky! (It doesn't cost you anything!)

2008-08-28T19:04:00.003-04:00

I'm copying and pasting the email I got from Jenny at Half the Sky. Please take a moment to vote for them. It's free and it could result in a lot of money for them to use in the children's earthquake recovery centers in China. Here is the message:

Have you had a chance to help child earthquake victims in the American Express Members Project I wrote about last week?

For a while, it looked as if Half the Sky’s Big Tops – the children’s recovery centers we’re creating in Sichuan refugee camps – were a shoo-in for the top 25. But now, with only 4 days left, our chances aren’t looking so good.

PLEASE HELP US TODAY - AND PLEASE, RIGHT NOW, FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

Anyone with an email address can nominate a project. The more nominations we get, the better our chances are. It’s easy and it doesn’t cost one penny!

Our project is called, "HELP CHILDREN RECOVER FROM EARTHQUAKE IN CHINA"
and if it makes the top 25, it could get enough funding from American Express to build and operate four BigTops for two years. To nominate our project for potential funding, please follow these simple steps:
1. Go to http://www.membersproject.com/project/view/YBIBMW.
2. Click on "NOMINATE THIS PROJECT" button 3. Sign up & log in as a Guest Member or a Cardmember 4. The button will turn into a sentence that says "You have nominated this project"

If you have any problems, please let us know.

I’ll be posting some more photos of our amazing work in Sichuan soon. In the meantime….

Won't you please help us today?

Many thanks -
Jenny

Jenny Bowen
Executive Director
Half the Sky Foundation
www.halfthesky.org

Half the Sky was created in order to enrich the lives and enhance the prospects for orphaned children in China. We establish and operate infant nurture and preschool programs, provide personalized learning for older children and establish loving permanent family care and guidance for children with disabilities. It is our goal to ensure that every orphaned child has a caring adult in her life and a chance at a bright future.

Want to receive our free Half the Sky newsletter, full of stories and photos, via regular mail? Just go to our website www.halfthesky.org and click on "Join our Mailing List."

The Olympics Opening Ceremonies

2008-08-09T10:24:00.011-04:00

Was everyone as awed by the opening ceremonies as I was? China should be proud! Here are some of the highlights (out of order, unfortunately):

Emotions

2008-08-09T09:45:00.003-04:00

I don't know what it is... The start of the Olympics, the fact that I'm renewing all my paperwork, the TWO-day referral batch this month, or maybe a combination of all of the above. But, I've been a wreck this week - anxious, depressed, worried. So much hope is wrapped up in this Olympics. A huge number of people in the adoption community are absolutely convinced that we will finally see a speed up in matching once these Olympics are over. Even skeptical me wants so badly to believe it, that I find myself telling people outside the adoption world that this is the cause for the slowdown. What I do know, is that if by the end of this year we aren't seeing larger batches each month, there are going to be a lot of people who are absolutely crushed.

So after a rough week, I decided to treat myself to Chinese takeout for dinner and eat it while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. In all my experience eating Chinese food, I don't think I've ever gotten a fortune cookie that had a fortune that meant anything to me. But last night I had 2 fortune cookies and both of them just floored me.

The first one said

Do you believe? Endurance and persistence will be rewarded.

The second one said

A small gift can bring joy to the whole family.

When I read these, I actually broke down and cried. I know, I know! They're JUST fortune cookies. It's not like I have ever in my life put any stock in what a fortune cookie said. It was just that I was at a very low point this week and feeling like this adoption was doomed. And these 2 little fortunes both seemed to say exactly what I needed. A sign, perhaps?

Strike that.

2008-08-04T14:31:00.001-04:00

Ok, so I spoke a little too soon (see my last post about NOT renewing my paperwork). I've decided to at least TRY to get the paperwork redone. It will be more complicated this time around because my parents and I are temporarily sharing living quarters. But, there is a SMALL chance that the US will change the rule and allow people to continue renewing the I-600A indefinitely, as long as it doesn't ever expire. So, on the very small chance this happens, I'd like to have the opportunity to continue under that I-600A rather than switch over to the I-800, a much more difficult process.

Of course I may not get everything done in time and may end up expiring anyway. But we're going to give it a shot. My homestudy agency works very quickly, so as long as the fingerprints don't give me or my parents any trouble, we MIGHT make it on time.

Please pray, think good thoughts, cross your fingers, or whatever you do to send me some good luck with this. I really hate the thought that I might go through all this stress and not even be able to get it done before it expires.

So I talked to the USCIS...

2008-08-01T21:50:00.003-04:00

My paperwork expires in 6 weeks and I've been in a quandary about what to do. The paperwork is only good for 18 months and there is pretty much no way I'm getting a referral in the next 18 months, which means that it will have to be renewed again and again. We get one free renewal if we renew before expiration, but then we have to pay again the next time. Total cost to renew is around $1000 when you count the homestudy update and the government fees.

There is confusion in the adoption world about whether or not you can continue to renew your paperwork under the pre-Hague conditions, or the I-600A/I-171H. Some agencies say that yes you can continue to renew and renew and renew your paperwork as many times as necessary. Some agencies are saying that after you use the free renewal, you no longer qualify to renew under the old paperwork and must now renew under the new, Hague-compliant paperwork, or the I-800/I-800A. The benefits of continuing under the old rules are that it's a much simpler process. The Hague Treaty, which the US ratified in April 2008, makes everything much more difficult and much more expensive. It's not that I won't qualify under Hague, but it will just mean I basically have to start over with the US side of the documentation - new homestudy, new reference letters, new (and much more extensive) background checks, new medicals, new financial statements, and the brand new requirement of 10 hours of adoption/parenting classes. It doesn't mean I'll lose my place in line in China or anything like that.

Right now I'm still in a transitory state. I sold my house in December and have been living with family until I got news about a possible job opportunity. I realized last week that the job was not going to work out, so now I know I need to move closer to my current job. Getting a home study right now would be a nightmare since I'm living with people and not in a place of my own. So I've been a wreck trying to figure out what to do.

Since I'm getting conflicting answers from my homestudy agency and my adoption agency about the possibility of continuing to renew the I-600A indefinitely, I decided to go straight to the source. Last year when I was paperchasing, I had to contact the officer at the USCIS office I go through, so I still had her email address in my contact list. I wrote to her and asked her if the I-600A could continue to be renewed or if I would have to switch to the I-800 after the free renewal. She said I'd have to switch to the I-800 after my one renewal expired. Since I know I will not get my referral before it expires, it doesn't make sense to go through a renewal now. It would just be extra hoops to jump through for nothing. If I have to do the Hague stuff no matter what, I might as well save my money and just do it when I'm getting close to a referral. By then I'll definitely be settled in a new home somewhere and won't have to stress about all of that.

My adoption agency agrees with this USCIS officer about the switching to the I-800A, by the way. My homestudy agency was unsure and was encouraging me to go ahead and renew. Of course they get money when I renew, so I'm sure that may have played a part in it. Even though my renewal is "free", that's only the USCIS fee that's free. The homestudy update still has to be paid for.

Anyway, hopefully this is the right decision. I know there are rumors going around about possibly having to do a completely new dossier and moving to the back of the China line if things expire, but I think that's hogwash. My agency is on top of things and they are not saying anything about this. I think some people just like to stir up drama. But just in case, I'm definitely saying a few extra prayers that this doesn't backfire on me in some way. It's out of my hands at this point, so I just have to have faith.

Job Update

2008-07-23T09:34:00.002-04:00

Well, I had the job interview yesterday. The people were very nice but the job was not right for me. The pay would be about 17% less than I make now. I might be able to get them to come up a little, but it would still be quite a bit less than I currently make, and a pay cut is simply not an option. There were also a few other red flags - mostly in the form of money issues. They are struggling financially, and while I don't think my job would be in jeopardy (they were reprimanded by an accreditation committee for not having enough staff, and this position I interviewed for would remedy that), other resources are seriously lacking. And I also feel that the position would be a step back for me professionally.

I'm a little disappointed, but I am also relieved. I'm relieved because I don't feel like I'm in limbo anymore. I'm just going to work towards moving closer to my current job in the next few months and just accept the fact that I will never be able to find a decent job in the small town where I currently live. I've been trying for 4 years to find something here and it just isn't happening. It's time to move on.

15 months! And an update on me...

2008-07-20T11:19:00.003-04:00

Today marks 15 months since I was logged in. I am going to keep this post positive, so I won't comment on how many more months I think I have to wait. :)

I know I don't post a whole lot about my personal life here. I guess I just haven't gotten into that aspect of blogging yet. I always feel like I'm missing out though when I read other people's blogs who do share a lot. So maybe I'll make more of an effort.

Right now I'm kind of in this transition period of life. I have been at my job for 2 years now, but I have to commute an hour each way to get to it and I can't keep that up for much longer. I sold my house back in December because I wanted to live closer to work AND I wanted a house that didn't need as much work as the one I had. The house was draining my bank account and was going to drain it a LOT more, leaving me fairly broke all the time. I didn't want to be in that position when the baby arrived. So after I sold, I temporarily moved in with my parents until I could figure out my next step - which was either move closer to work or get a job closer to home.

The problem with getting a job closer to home is that there just aren't very many in my field and those that do exist tend to pay very little. The second issue is that I like my current job. And I like the city it's in. It's much larger than the town where I currently live, but not huge. There is more to do, there are more opportunities, and I have more friends there. But, my parents are here. I've lived 500+ miles away from my parents for most of my adult life (until just a few years ago), but I didn't have a child. That makes the decision to move away (even though it's just an hour away), more difficult.

So this Tuesday I have a job interview at a place in my current town. It's a very rare occurrence that jobs in my field come open here. This is the first opening I've seen in the 4 years I've been looking that has any potential. I don't know the salary though. If it's anywhere close to what other jobs of this nature pay in this town, then it will be way too low. If it's close to my current salary, then I'm faced with a problem (assuming they offer me the job). Do I stay in this town where I have few friends and nothing to do, just to be closer to my family? Or do I keep my current job and move there where I have more friends and other future job opportunities? I've been looking at homes down in the new city and found a few possibilities. I haven't found anything where I currently live.

It's not going to be an easy decision. Please keep your fingers crossed for me!

Single Mothers are not to blame for the world's problems!

2008-07-10T16:30:00.000-04:00

I was recently reading a discussion online that has somehow turned into a conversation about single parenting. A few self-righteous people have chimed in to say that single parents are bad. Very bad. Apparantly, according to them, only married couples make good parents, because as we all know, marriages are all perfect and never end in divorce, and married people never abuse children or fall into poverty or neglect their responsibilities. And single mothers are all on welfare and sleep around and have no morals. Ohhhhh Kaaaaaaaaay.

So let me just clarify my stance on this issue (as a single mom to be):

First of all, I'm not anti-marriage and I am not single by choice. I am single by circumstance. I just love it when married people ask me why I am not married, like I somehow have total control over the situation. Last I checked, there had to be 2 people in the relationship that wanted marriage. I thought I found someone once, but he backed out, and here I am.

Secondly, even though I'm not anti-marriage, I also don't think that just because you are married, your family situation is ideal. What is the divorce rate now? Is it 50%? 60%? And of the ones that never end in divorce, how many are actually "good" marriages? There are lots of people stuck in bad marriages who cannot or will not get out because of finances or because they are too scared to be alone or because their religious beliefs forbid it, or any number of reasons. So even if 50% of marriages never end in divorce, I'd venture a guess that only half of those (or 25% of total marriages) are actually mostly good and mostly happy. So that means that at least 75% of marriages either end in divorce or go on forever in a completely miserable state (oftentimes completely unbeknownst to the outside world).

So let's examine single motherhood. Obviously I am not in support of teenage girls becoming pregnant. Nor am I in support of women who have no means of financial support becoming pregnant (but this goes for married women too!). But not all single mothers fall into those 2 categories! There is a pretty good population of mature single women with good jobs, financial security, their own homes, etc. who choose to become parents. It's ridiculous to lump those women into the same category as the 19 year old welfare mother.

According to the US Census Bureau:

Of the mothers who are custodial parents:

44% are currently divorced or separated
33% have never been married
22% are married (In most cases, these numbers represent women who have remarried.)
1% were widowed

That means only about 1/3 of single mothers have never been married.

79% of custodial single mothers are gainfully employed
27.7% of custodial single mothers and their children live in poverty
31% of all single parents receive public assistance

While it's sad that close to 1/3 of single mothers are living in poverty and/or are on public assistance, that's still by far a minority.

37.7% of custodial mothers are 40 years old or older

While I don't have stats for single mothers in their 20's and 30's, I think it's a safe bet that most single mothers are not teenagers.

56% of custodial mothers are raising one child

More than half of single mothers only have one child. They aren't going out and getting pregnant over and over again like it's going out of style.

I guess my point is that while I agree that there are certainly instances where single parenting is not a good choice, I hardly think it is fair to lump all single mothers into this category of gloom and doom. If you want to discuss the decline of the traditional family, go gripe about the couples who divorce or the people who neglect their children (whether married or single), not the single moms who are doing the best they can.

5 More Days!

2008-07-08T12:54:00.003-04:00

The CCAA apparantly got through 5 log in days this month, so they are now at January 25, 2006. My log in is April 20, 2007, so only 450 log in days to get through until they get to me. In April 2007 there were 541 days ahead of me, so I guess that makes 450 look a little better. LOL!

Happy Independence Day!

2008-07-04T15:44:00.001-04:00

I hope my American friends are enjoying their holiday. I made a trip to the grocery store this morning and will be grilling out with the family this evening. That's about it. My life is so exciting. LOL

Thanks for all the compliments on the blog design. I love it too! :)

14 months

2008-06-26T19:15:00.003-04:00

When I started this blog, I thought I'd try and post each month on the 20th, marking the day of my LID. Then when I realized that I may very well end up waiting 100 months or more, I stopped. And yes, sadly, 100 months is a real possibility, not just a crazy guess. 100 months would be 8.33 years, which is about what some are predicting will happen if there is no speed-up, but I digress. Anyway, I thought I might go ahead and mark that I passed the 14 month mark a few days ago. It's funny, because when I was just starting this process and started reading blogs of other people already in line, I remember seeing people who had been waiting 12 months or more and thinking that I couldn't imagine waiting that long. LOL! I mean, I knew the wait would be longer than that. I just had a hard time seeing myself 12+ months after LID. It seemed so far away. Now here I am 14+ months after LID and don't feel like I'm really any closer. In some ways the last 14 months has flown by, which is a good thing. But I wonder if I can really make it to 100 months? Hopefully I won't have to, but you never know.

Check out my new blog design!

2008-06-24T08:47:00.002-04:00

Sarah, over at Blogovers With Love designed my gorgeous new blog for me. She was fantastic to work with and I think she did a great job. Thanks Sarah!

I've got to add some entries to the sidebar, but hopefully will get that done soon. :)

Tagged!

2008-05-27T22:56:00.003-04:00

My Mom has a blog about knitting (and other things), so be sure to take a look when you get a chance! She tagged me tonight with this meme, so I'll play along.

The rules: Posted here at the beginning. The player answers all questions. The player then chooses six people you want to know more about and tags those people by listing their names at the end of the post and going to their blog and leaving a comment, letting them know they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Also, you let the person who tagged you know when you've posted your answer.

1) What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was living in Louisville, KY, sharing a house with 2 of my best friends, dating my ex-fiance, and having a pretty good time.

2) What are five things on my to-do list today (not in any particular order)
The day is almost over, so tomorrow's to-do list consists of work, work, work, work, and work. LOL! Sadly I have to go to work and then I have to come home and do some freelance work. I don't think there will be time for anything else.

3) What snacks do I enjoy
Popcorn, chocolate, baked Cheetos, cheese, apples.

4) What are some places I've lived?
Kentucky, Virginia, North Carolina, Indiana, England

5) What things would I do if I were a billionaire?
Help people. Travel. Shop.

I'm supposed to tag 6 bloggers, but I'll just let you tag yourself. If you are reading this and you have a blog, consider yourself tagged. LOL!

Pardon the mess!

2008-05-27T22:14:00.002-04:00

I'm getting a new template made, but in the meantime I'm playing around with the blogger settings. So just ignore the mess. Hopefully I'll have a beautiful new look in a few weeks. :)

Earthquakes in China

2008-05-14T07:35:00.003-04:00

I'm sure most of you have heard of the massive earthquake to hit China a couple of days ago. Thousands are dead and thousands are still missing. Half the Sky, a non-profit organization that helps improve conditions in Chinese orphanages is stepping up once again to help the Chinese people recover after this tragedy. While that is not their focus, they are willingly do what they can to help, just like they did back this winter during the terrible snowstorms and cold weather that rocked parts of southern China. Below is a copy of part of an email update they sent to their subscribers with links to give money to help the effort. If you are so inclined, please give. There are several orphanages in the area of the earthquake. So far, no children in the orphanages are known to be hurt but there is some minor building damage and the nannies are keeping the children outside as much as possible. Any money given to Half the Sky will be used not just for the orphanages but for the other children in the area. Here is the email snippet:

In cooperation with China’s Ministry of Civil Affairs, Half the Sky has set up the Children’s Earthquake Fund. The Fund will provide direct aid to the thousands of children who are suffering in the wake of the earthquake and aftershocks. Donations will be used to provide emergency and long-term relief to children affected by the disaster, including emergency shelter, food, and medical care for children orphaned or separated from their families, as well as temporary or long-term foster care or, if necessary, temporary institutional care. The ministry has guaranteed that the funds will be used only to help the children.

You can donate to the fund by calling Half the Sky (+1 510 525 3377) or at one of two dedicated sites online:
Global Giving: http://www.globalgiving.com/pr/2100/proj2086a.html
or
Half the Sky website:
http://give.halfthesky.org/prostores/servlet/Categories?category=Children's+Earthquake+Fund

If you would like a Canadian tax receipt, please donate at
http://www.canadahelps.org/CharityProfilePage.aspx?CharityID=s86248

If you would like a Hong Kong tax receipt, please call us at +852 2520
5266 or online at
https://www.paydollar.com/b2c2/eng/charity/payInfo.jsp?charityId=4947

One Year

2008-04-08T15:43:00.002-04:00

I'm sorry I've been MIA for so long. Earlier this year I realized that if I was going to make it through this excruciatingly long wait, I needed to pull back. I was starting to get obsessed with adoption blogs, Rumor Queen, yahoogroups, anything about China adoption I could find and the obsession and worry over the increasing wait times was taking its toll on my mental health.

So, I forced myself to stop. I unsubscribed from most of the blogs I was reading (I still read a few every once in a while, just not everyday), went "no mail" on all my yahoogroups, and started limiting Rumor Queen visits to about twice a week instead of multiple times a day. It has helped tremendously.

I just passed the one year anniversary of being DTC (4/6/07), and I'm now coming up on the one year anniversary of my LID, April 20, 2007. It's hard to believe it's already been a year. On the one hand, it seems like it's been about 10 years, but on the other hand, it seems like it's been about 10 minutes. :) When I start to get depressed about how much longer I have left (probably at least 4 more years if I stay in the non-special needs group), I try to remember that this year did go by pretty quickly. It's not easy, but to keep my sanity in check this is what I have to do.

In the meantime, I've sold my house and am thinking of going back to school for a career change. I figure I have time and it's better to do it now while I'm child free. At the advice of my agency, I'm letting my paperwork expire this year and will not renew until closer to my referral. Even taking advantage of the one free renewal won't do me any good since it's highly unlikely I'd get a referral before it expired again. My decision to go the special needs route is currently on hold while I figure out if I want to go back to school or not. It's still an option I may pursue, but probably not this year. I definitely want to wait and see what happens in the months following the Olympics and I also want to see where I end up as far as school, house, career, etc.

I've heard negative rumors about the fate of the China adoption program, but am choosing to block them out for now. I have no control over the situation, but can choose to have faith that this will all work out somehow. Until something actually changes, I'm going forward like always. I simply cannot endure the stress that worrying over the "what ifs" causes for the next 4+ years.

Having said that, I definitely still have my moments. It is not easy to force myself to not worry. I do worry. I do think about how this all might just fall apart at some point. But I try to keep in check and take it one day at a time. One thing is for sure. I will be so glad when the Olympics are over, even if things don't speed up afterwards. I just want the protests and the negativity to stop. Everytime I see another negative report in the media, I cringe a little. It worries me that China will just get ticked off at all the negative publicity over the Olympics and shut down the adoption program altogether. But then I tell myself "it's out of your control", and try to move on.

So one year later and I've gone from feeling elated to feeling defeated to feeling calm with occasional moments of panic. :) Thank you to all my adoption buddies for being there. Even though I've pulled back a little, I still check in on you all every now and then and hopefully will become more active in the blogging world again at some point.

The Year of the Rat!

2008-02-06T21:58:00.000-05:00

Happy Chinese New Year! It is officially the Year of the Rat. I was born in the Year of the Rat and my mom was born in the Year of the Rat too, so despite hating the little rodents, I think it's a pretty good year to be born in. :) Here's some interesting information about "Rat" people:

On the Western calendar, the start of the New Year falls on February 7, 2008 — The Year of the Rat. If you were born in 1912, 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996 - you were born under the sign of the rat.

Being born a Rat is nothing to be ashamed of. In China, the Rat is respected and considered a courageous, enterprising person. It is deemed an honor to be born in the Year of the Rat and it is considered a privilege to be associated with a Rat. Rats know exactly where to find solutions and can take care of themselves and others without problems. They use their instinctive sense of observation to help others in times of need and are among the most fit of all the Animal signs to survive most any situation.

The Sign of the Rat
Being born under this sign determines many talents, as well as other characteristics that may not be so commendable. Rats are very lively and need a lot of mental and physical stimulation. They can be calm and perceptive, but sometimes their brains can cause a mental restlessness, tempting them to take on too much, only to discover they are unable to meet their commitments. Rats are blessed with one of the best intellects going. Add to their intelligence a curiosity and a bright imagination, and they seem as sharp as a needle.

The sign of the Rat is the first sign in the cycle giving Rat people exude great leadership qualities and are good at taking the lead. They don't mind a lot of responsibility and they demonstrate a strong presence that other people respect. For those with the Rat nature, status and monetary satisfaction are the greatest motivation.

RAT FACTS:
People born in the Year of the Rat share certain characteristics. The Rat sign is an abbreviated way of characterizing that individual's personality. Following are features associated with the sign of the Rat. First in order, Chinese name-SHU, sign of charm
Hour-11pm-12:59am Month-December
Western Counterpart-Sagittarius

CHARACTERISTICS
Smart, Magnetic, Well-liked, Affable, Quick-witted, Surreptitious, Selfish, Protective, Calculating

IN YOUR ELEMENT

The characteristics of the Rat Sign are tempered by one of the five Chinese elements of Metal, Water, Wood, Fire and Earth overlaying a 5-year cycle of characteristics on the original 12-year cycle.

THE METAL RAT 1900 AND 1960
Of all the Rats, these are the toughest and most resolute. They are visionary and possess an emotional intensity that can lead to feelings of rage, envy, or possessiveness. They like to be in charge, and can act selfishly to get what they want. In relationships, business or personal, they can be obstinate. Metal rats have to bear in mind that meeting their partner halfway would help their relationships tremendously. They take great pride in their homes and enjoy decorating them in their impressively good taste.

THE WATER RAT 1912 AND 1972
Being guided by the Water element means these Rats have a knack for influencing people. With their strong intellectual powers and great insight, they are also great puzzle solvers. They are quick to understand others and are incredibly practical people. Rats apply their talents to their everyday lives, making them obliging, generous and compassionate to other people. Generally, they are liked and respected by everyone. Like all Rats, however, they can be determined to seek their own gain, and will not mind using these talents to achieve it - though generally without losing anyone's respect in doing so.

THE WOOD RAT 1924 AND 1984

Despite having a remarkable facade of self-confidence, deep down, Wood Rats are the least sure of themselves compared to other Rats. However, they wouldn't dream of showing this side of themselves to anyone. Only close companions of a Wood Rat would ever suspect that he or she had such self-doubt. In fact Wood Rats are often worried about downfall, despite their ability to find success. Well-liked, proficient, and good leaders at work, Wood Rats seem to function best when they are surrounded by family and friends. Cordial and delicate, they are usually well loved by family, friends and peers.

THE FIRE RAT 1936 AND 1996

Fire adds a bit of spontaneity and vigor to the already spirited Rat. These Rats like change and travel and are eager to start new projects or to take trips to exotic places. Fire Rats are likely to change their occupations and residences more often than most, and essentially shun any kind of routine. They can be anxious and impulsive, but their zest for life is quite irresistible, and they have the Rat's ability to along so well with others. Compared to other Rats, Fire Rats are likely to be more charitable, autonomous, and energetic and the least self-controlled.

THE EARTH RAT 1948 AND 2008

The Earth adds solidity to the Rat's personality. An Earth Rat is conventional and a good achiever who likes to establish roots early in order to make a secure future for himself and his family. These Rats have the typical Rat ingenuity and mental capacity, but a strong sense of reality often alludes them preventing them from going after anything that could be impromptu. Earth Rats are honorable and love to be stabilized. Slowly and steadily acquiring wealth gives them a sense of inner peace. Although they are capable of being stingy with their finances, they do possess warm feelings for their family and friends.

Health and home

RAT HEALTH
The affect of the sign of the Rat is energetic, and demonstrates enough endurance to fight most any sickness. Yet, all Rats tend to be tense, full of nervous energy, petulant and prone to stress. Rats also harbor a bit of aggression; yet, they are usually able to control it. Yoga would benefit Rats by calming their aggressive natures and helping them manage stress.

AT HOME WITH THE RAT

Rats make good homemakers who are always willing to do household chores. Rats are not usually interested in keeping up with the times, and it doesn't matter to them whether or not their furnishings are in style. What does matter is that their home is a refuge expressing warmth, comfort and vogue. Light blue is their color of choice for home decor. Because this is a sign of acquisition, the Rat person's house is presumably bursting with various knick-knacks collected over the years. Most Rats are cheerful, domesticated individuals who find happiness at home with their family.

Career and finance

THE RAT ON THE JOB

The Chinese say others should always listen to the advice of the Rat. Because of their intellect and observatory powers, Rat people possess prudence and perception. They can anticipate problems, and are always able to see the big picture. They can hone in on issues at hand and make measurable judgments. These skills, combined with their sense of aspiration also make them clever operators. Status, money, title, and recognition are important to the Rat. They have keen senses of observation that allow them to foresee upcoming business opportunities as well as potential occupational problems. The Rat makes a better boss than an employee and, although motivated, they can be pinned down by routines. Rats work better in flexible situations where they can be freely creative.

MONEY AND THE RAT

Cunning and thrifty, Rats have a knack with money and are apt to save for rainy days. When capable, the Rat is a great money saver, and in strapped times he knows how to make something out of nothing or how to turn make things advantageous for himself. Although few Rats suffer financially, the Chinese have a proverb: They who pile up grain hoards have much to lose.

RAT CAREERS
Those born in the Year of the Rat also share the same kinds of goals and objectives in life. The occupations best suited for the Rat are listed below:

RATS MAKE EXCELLENT:
Writers, Broadcasters, Actors, Advisors, Counselors, Lawyers, Politicians, Designers, Engineers, Managers, Directors, Administrators, Entrepreneurs, Musicians, Stand-up Comedians, Researchers, Historians, Race Car Drivers

CONGENIAL BUSINESS PARTNERS
Whether Rats are compatible with their business partners depends on whether their signs are harmonious or antagonistic to those of their partners. Considering the congruity of their own characters and the characters of their business colleagues can also be very useful.

LIKES AND DISLIKES
Since Rats are born under the same Animal sign, they often share likes and dislikes. Following are similar likes and dislikes of the Rats personality:

Rats Like:
Color Preference: Light-Blue
Gems and Stones: Diamond, Amethyst, Garnet
Suitable Gifts: car accessories, art books, gym memberships, geographical maps
Hobbies and Pastimes: Interior design, playing basketball, crafts, painting
Rats' Dislike: Doing without things they want, strict time keeping, any routines, being at the end of the line

THE RAT VACATION
Travel delights the Rat personality and ignites his curiosity. Sunbathing is not the ideal way for a Rat to spend his vacation. Rats are adventurers. They want to explore, examine, visit and party during their time off. They want to try new foods, find new sights and experience the culture of the area they are visiting. And, of course, if they can come home with an exotic souvenir to add to their collection their vacation will have been an instant success.

FRIENDS AND ENEMIES
Generally friendly and sociable, the Rat is one of the extroverts of the Animal Zodiac. Often, the Rat is lively and genial, and has a special gift for easing the minds of others. It is not surprising that Rats have a lot of friends. They are great speakers and intriguing conversationalists, and can generally find something to say on just about any topic or subject. Of course, there is always that renowned Rat lure that allows them to charm the pants off of people! To the people they love, Rats can be amazingly charitable, popular and supportive, and will go out of their way to be certain their loved ones are content. On the other hand, if the Rat does not like someone, he is considered fair game and can be used to achieve any and all of the Rat's desires. At the end of the day, though, the Rat is a loyal friend and will be there for his companions through thick and thin.

Compatible Friends: Dragons and Monkeys
Mortal Enemy: Horses

RAT PARENTS AND CHILDREN
Rat parents are dedicated to their children. They encompass their little ones with love and attention and enjoy watching their offspring grow and experience the world. When their children are small they brood a great deal over them. Rats become concerned if their babies don't develop as quickly as other children. They anguish over whether or not they are raising their youngsters correctly. With the mental capacity to pick things up easily, Rats tend to get agitated with people who are not quite as quick-witted as they are. No wonder this trait could lead to conflict between Rat parents and their children should any of their children be late bloomers or harbor learning disabilities. Overall, Rats are indulgent parents who don't like denying their youngsters of things they want, and the children soon learn how to wrap their parents around their little fingers.

THE RAT INFANT AND CHILD
Rat babies love to be loved and cuddled. When they are young, Rat babies tend to depend tremendously on their parents, but later in life they develop natural leadership qualities. During their baby years, Rats mature slowly, but gain momentum as they become toddlers. Eventually, they begin to exhibit active mentalities, so, in the early years, plenty of sleep is necessary. In school, the young Rats are eager to learn. It is then, too, that Rats begin collecting things, and like to fill their bedrooms with pebbles, shells and keepsakes of every kind. Generally, young Rats are smart little people who are artistic and literary students. They are well-rounded and many of them do well in sports, too. Being born in the first sign of the Chinese horoscope motivates these children to be pioneers and gives them a need to be first in line.

RAT PARENT/CHILD KINSHIPS
Some parents click immediately with their children and others find they will never have a close relationship no matter how hard they try to make it happen. Following are the compatibility ratings between Rat parents and their children.

Lovers and partners

Rats are beautiful people with magnetic personalities. The Rat himself can't help but notice the admiration he receives from others. If the Chinese say there are few poor Rats, there are an even fewer number who are not sexually stimulating- especially as young people. Rat people are romantic, and are always happier to have someone to share with.

RAT ENRAPTURE
One of the Rat's greatest assets is his charm. Rats can melt hearts with their smiles. Add that to their coquettish personalities and you can easily see how they conquer the hearts of others. And, since Rats love to go out, they have plenty of chances to meet potential suitors or future partners. An annoying quirk of some Rats is they have a difficult time severing ties with former lovers. Obviously, this can pose potential conflicts for the Rat and his new lover and can even endanger his ability to develop new relationships. When the Rat finally settles down with Mr. or Ms. Right, he will find a sincere satisfaction in the intimacy of the partnership.

A RAT'S PARTNER
Although Rats like to be in the driver's seat, they do need partners who can keep up with their active lifestyles. Chinese horoscopes are very specific about which partnerships have the potential to be successful in love and in business. Yet, though destiny can point us in the right direction, we must still make efforts to maintain loving relationships. Following is a brief description of how a Rat will affect a relationship with other Animal signs.

PARTNERS IN LOVE

Rat*Rat
This is a prosperous partnership, especially in a business atmosphere. These two are bound to compete!

Rat*Ox
Very sexually enticing, yet likely to fail at marriage.

Rat*Tiger
Potential for great companionship, but you will have some major disputes.

Rat*Rabbit
Rats think Rabbits are boring. Rabbits love to be out and about. You will only frustrate each other.

Rat*Dragon
A solid, caring partnership. You value each other and get along very well.

Rat*Snake
Work on your differences and you could learn something form each other.

Rat*Horse
Don't even think about it.

Rat*Sheep
If you both try hard and make great efforts, you will survive.

Rat*Monkey
You share similar goals and will make a great match.

Rat*Rooster
It's just not worth it…there are too many conflicts.

Rat*Dog
Rats think Dogs are tiresome, but you have the potential to be a good match for each other.

Rat*Pig
Uphill, downhill, uphill…you love each other intensely, but keep an eye on your checkbooks!

EAST MEETS WEST

ARIES RAT
These are secure, bold, go-getting people who cannot pass on a challenge. Approachable and captivating, Aries Rats can also be short-tempered and touchy, especially with those who can't keep up.

LIBRAN RAT
Doubly affable, Libran Rats are smooth operators. These people are elegant and cultured. They are drawn to artistic pleasures such as music and theater. Pleasant to be around, Libran Rats excel in advertising and PR.

TAUREAN RAT
Taurean Rats are intimidating people. Their sharp minds never skip a beat and they don't lose sight of their goals. Conventional deep down, making money is their motivating factor.

SCORPIO RAT
Scorpio Rats are the strong, emotional types. Few would suspect quite sensitive these Rats are. They have an intense aura that allows them to channel their energies.

GEMINI RAT
Gemini Rats are blessed with the gift of the conversation. They are articulate and keen. Easily bored, Gemini Rats thrive on variety, and are happiest with their hands in many things. They do tend to take a long time to make decisions and once they so, to change their minds a few times.

SAGITTARIAN RAT
Sagittarian Rats sail through life and couple wisdom with perceptive. They can spot an opportunity a mile away, and are quick to act on it. Generally, these Rats are lucky but they have itchy feet.

CANCERIAN RAT
Cancerian Rats like to be individuals and to stand out. Material things are important to them, but what they value their family more than anything else.

CAPRICORN RAT
Industrial and tenacious, Capricorn Rats are profoundly enterprising and make substantial progress in their occupations. These people expect their dedication to be rewarded. They may not be that sentimental, but they are loyal and honest.

LEONINE RAT
The Leonine Rat is a mystical personality, dynamic and responsive. In addition to enthusiasm, high ethical standards and wise decision-making guarantee this Rat will be successful.

AQUARIAN RAT
A bit unorthodox, these Rats are impulsive and outgoing. They are community-minded and more selfless than other Rats. Aquarian Rats are determined to work hard in order to better mankind.

VIRGO RAT
With gifts for research and experimentation and an eye for detail, these Rats have the capability to make small assessments. The hard-working Virgo Rat will find fulfillment in any job where intense investigation is necessary. There is something naive about them that attracts quieter, frailer people as their partners.

PISCEAN RAT
This Rat is delicate and incisive, and does well as a consultant or a counselor. Piscean Rats are creative, but tend to lack the confidence necessary and thus feel a need to be part of a team.

The Weather Disaster in China - Help Needed

2008-02-02T20:58:00.000-05:00

You may have heard by now of the terrible winter weather many parts of China are experiencing now. Areas of China that are usually quite tropical are getting snow and ice. Many orphanages are without heat and are running out of food and water. The Nannies are having to walk miles to get to and from work. It's a horrible situation. Half the Sky, a wonderful organization that helps out many Chinese orphanages is trying to help but they need money. If you can donate, please do. Here is the latest info direct from Half the Sky:

February 1st, 2008
Here’s an update on conditions and needs at the HTS institutions. Some will be repetition from last night. I think it will be useful to have all in one list. I will post this on our website as well and update whenever I can. We’re still trying to get through to a few orphanages. We’ll provide information regarding those and other orphanages needing help just as soon as we have it. In general the needs are for fuel, food, disposable diapers, warm clothing and bedding. Prices are soaring because no goods can be shipped and cold weather has destroyed all winter crops. Half the Sky is responding to the emergency by getting funds directly to the institutions in a variety of ways.

Beihai, Guangxi – Although ill-prepared for the bitter cold, the institution has so far managed to keep the children warm and fed. Changzhou, Jiangsu – suffered the largest snowfall in Jiangsu Province. Several buildings have collapsed. But the institution rushed to prepare for the cold and the children are fine.

Chengdu, Sichuan – is experiencing the coldest winter in memory. They need a large room heater, diapers, shoes, socks and winter jackets.

Chenzhou, Hunan – still facing the most difficulties of the orphanages we’ve reached. They’ve had no electricity or running water for 8 days and there is almost no possibility that power will be restored before New Year’s Eve (the 6th of February.) Because of the blackout, the hospital is closed. 20 children are ill and being cared for by institution staff as well as they can. The banks are closed so staff is contributing personal funds to buy food, coal and diapers. Prices are skyrocketing as all roads to Chenzhou remain impassable.

Chongqing – warm and well, despite the terrible cold

Chuzhou, Anhui - has both water and power. Only public transportation has failed. HTS nannies and teachers are walking to work. They are leaving home extra early to be there for the children.

Fuzhou, Jiangxi - lost power for a few days but now it is back to normal. The snow stopped a couple of days ago but now is falling again. The directors and HTS staff have gathered all the children into one big room to keep them warm. They’ve bought New Years clothes for the children and will have a party no matter how bad the weather. This year, however, the foster parents will stay home to keep the children safe. The institution has enough food and water. They want us to focus on those in more serious trouble and ask us please not to worry.

Gaoyou, Jiangsu – Despite incredibly heavy snow, the children are warm and well.

Guangzhou, Guangdong – This city is truly unaccustomed to cold and it is getting more difficult to find necessities to keep children warm. They ask for 30 space heaters and warm bedding.

Guilin, Guangxi - has two broken HTS heater/air conditioners in the Infant Nurture rooms and they’ve asked us to replace. The rooms are very, very cold. They ask for more soft matting for the floors and also snow boots for our HTS nannies who’ve been slipping and falling in the ice and snow as they come to work. They are so ill-equipped to handle severe weather.

Guiyang, Guizhou – no report yet. Haikou, Haikou – Even sunny Hainan Island is experiencing a chill. The orphanage request a clothes dryer to keep the children in clean warm clothes.

Hefei, Anhui – reports that they have everything under control and the children are warm and well-fed. Huangshi, Hubei – is in desperate need of disposable diapers. They ask for funds to purchase since goods can’t be sent to them right now. All heater/air conditioners have stopped functioning. They need quilts and warm clothes for the children. Several HTS nannies have fallen on the ice on their way to work and they need medicine to treat cuts and bruises.

Jiujiang, Jiangxi – had another heavy snow storm last night. Pipes have burst and the five boilers are broken. They are unable to bathe the children and are having trouble keeping them warm. They need quilts, bedding, warm shoes and space heaters. They need medicine for infant coughs and colds.

Lianyungang, Jiangsu – is doing the best they can despite the lowest temperatures in history. While they still insist we help others first, they do request winter jackets for the children, warm mats to cover the floor and bottles for babies with cleft lip/palate. The last item we’ll have to ship from Beijing as soon as we are able.

Luoyang, Henan – all is well. They are accustomed to the cold.

Maoming, Guangdong - no report yet

Maonan District, Maoming, Guangdong – In the sunny south, they have never seen this kind of cold and damp weather before. It’s been a month with another month in the forecast. They need space heaters. Local citizens have donated warm clothes and blankets for the children.

Nanchang, Jiangxi – asks for warm floor mats and disposable diapers. They need a working room heater. Their electrical supply has been sporadic and with only a small generator, they’re not confident they can continue to provide heat to keep the children warm.

Nanjing, Jiangsu – continues to manage, despite the heavy snows. They would like 200 children’s blankets but insist that we look after others with greater needs first.

Nanning, Guangxi – is experiencing its worst winter in 48 years. They are doing their best to weather the storm but could use 6 large space heaters,86 warm quilts for our Family Village and disposable diapers. Like many places, they are having trouble finding affordable food right now and would appreciate a subsidy to help through this difficult time.

Qingyuan, Guangdong – no report yet. Sanya, Hainan – all is well in this southernmost tip of China. Shaoguan, Guangdong – needs disposable diapers for 27 babies. They need 3 large room heaters and warm mats for the floors.

Shaoyang, Hunan - has seen heavy snow every day for 20 days. There is sufficient water and, for the moment, there is power, so the children are warm. However, 5 of 6 power poles have been downed by weather. Only one stands and the institution fears it will fall as well, leaving them without electricity. Much of the rest of the city is already dark. Children and caregivers continue to work and play together. High school students are cramming for exams and trying to ignore the cold. Everyone prays that the power pole will continue to stand.

Wuhan, Hubei – is having a very hard time finding affordable food, “even cabbage.” They ask for food subsidies for the Family Village, 20 space heaters and 50 warm quilts. Heaters are working but there is no water for bathing. The local community has offered to take children in for the Chinese New Year and the institution feels this may be the best decision to keep them safe, so their requests are only for the Family Village.

Wuzhou, Guangdong – is enduring bitter cold. They need warm mats for the floors, disposable diapers, warm clothes and shoes for the children.

Xiangtan, Hunan - has had snow for the past 10 days. The main water pipe is “broken again.” There is no water for cooking right now but they do have electricity, coal and blankets. They are still able to buy food but prices have gone way up. Not all of the HTS nannies can get to work every day. They are keeping the programs going as well as they can and make sure that at least five nurturing nannies are there with the babies every day, along with the institution’s caregivers.

Xinyang, Henan – is accustomed to the cold and all is well. Yibin, Sichuan – no report yet.

Yiyang, Hunan – still has electricity but the water has been shutting off and on. They have stockpiled food for the children. The greatest challenge is for the nannies to get to work. Because the buses are down, they must walk on icy roads.

Yueyang, Hunan - also has no electricity. The one functioning power generator is being used in the children’s dormitory. They are relying on coal heat but the price has tripled in recent days. They are running out of food and have applied to the local Bureau of Civil Affairs for funds to buy more. Our HTS nannies have been walking for hours to get to work, often slipping on the ice, “even though they try to be cautious.”

To contribute to Half the Sky’s Little Mouse Emergency Fund to meet these emergency needs and others, click here Thank you again, everyone. You are just incredible! More updates soon.

I'm a slacker.

2008-02-02T19:09:00.000-05:00

I haven't been around much lately, I know. I haven't been feeling very inspired to write, but I feel I need to catch up a little. I think I'll do a bullet list to make it easier. ;)

* 9 Months LID: On January 20 I passed the 9 month mark since getting logged in. Gee if only this was a pregnancy. :)

* Referrals: Looks like the CCAA matched through December 27, 2005 this month. This isn't 100% official yet, but several agencies are saying the same thing. That is an 8 day batch. Better than I expected but still not great. Only 479 LIDs left until my turn. Ha!

* Switching to Special Needs: This is on hold, indefinitely. I need more time to get myself in better financial shape, and since switching to SN would mean less time, I'm going to hold off. I think I'll reevaluate at the end of this year.

* Stress: About a year ago when I was knee-deep in the paperchase trying to beat the May 1 deadline, I started grinding my teeth in my sleep. The stress really got to me. After I got logged in, other issues in my life continued stressing me out through the year and I continued grinding my teeth. So at my dentist appointment this week I found out just how much damage I did to myself. A bite guard is in my future. LOL! Gee, who knew that this adoption would ruin my teeth? ;)

* Lost: I LOVE this show! The season premiere was so good. The writer's strike better end soon, because 8 episodes just isn't going to be enough.

* The snow in China: This deserves its own post, so I'll do that next.

Stay tuned!

So the box is gone...

2008-01-10T08:53:00.000-05:00

What box am I speaking of? Well, it's the box that the China Center for Adoption Affairs put on their web site every month announcing how far they got with referrals and how far they are with the Review Room. Yesterday they changed the box to this:

So now the CCAA will no longer be giving us that information. We are required to get the information from our adoption agencies. That's fine if your agency actually communicates with you in an open and honest manner. But we all know that many do NOT. Luckily mine is pretty good so I am hopeful.

The question going around the China adoption community though is "what does this really mean?" With the overwhelming slowdown comes a LOT of worry and paranoia. We want answers that we aren't getting about the status of the program. China stays pretty quiet about these things or if they do speak they give us very vague answers. So is the removal of the box just another step to keep us even more in the dark than we already are? Probably. Does it mean that they are going to start issuing referrals in a different way? I want to say "no", but I certainly can't predict anything China will do anymore. Not announcing a cut-off certainly gives the CCAA the ability to match some agencies further than others or to go out of LID order. I'm not saying that this will happen, but it's not out of the realm of possibility.

If they continue to match up through a certain LID, then we'll be able to gather up that knowledge through the various Internet sites devoted to China adoption. But if they match different agencies in different ways, then we may never really know what is going on.

I don't think that the removal of the box is the end of the world, so to speak. But it's just one more bit of information China has taken away from us. This stable and predictable program is no longer stable or predictable.

I can't help but wonder what are they going to do next?

5 Darn Days

2008-01-05T08:10:00.000-05:00

China issued referrals this week from Dec. 15-19, 2005. Five days. And two of those days were weekend days, which basically means they don't even count.

To put this into perspective, in the entire year of 2007, China issued referrals for September 9, 2005 to December 19, 2005. Just about 3 months. If they do 3 months in 2008, that will get them into March 2006 by the end of this year. If they do 3 more months in 2009, that will get them into June 2006. 2010 would see them get through September 2006. My LID is April 2007, so you can see where this is headed. I won't even put it into print because it's just so freaking ridiculous. And I'll also say I think 3 months per year may be an optimistic estimate, believe it or not. Things are changing and I don't think it will ever speed up. It will only get slower.

How is someone supposed to wait that many years without their lives changing? For those of you not in this process, let me explain... During the wait, you cannot have any life changes that would make you ineligible for the adoption, so the longer the wait, the harder this is. You cannot marry or divorce. You cannot have a reduction in income that would put you out of China's acceptable range. You cannot get a disease or take medicine for depression. You cannot have more children unless your income meets the requirements that China has set forth for the number of members of your family, AND you have to make sure that any other children are born or are adopted at least one year before your China baby comes. You cannot get arrested (not that I think this is a bad thing, but sometimes mistakes happen and just getting arrested could get your approval revoked, even if you aren't convicted). I'm sure there are more things, but you get the drift.

Back when the wait was just a year or year and a half, this wasn't such a big deal. But when you are facing 5, 6, 7+ years, it's daunting! Not to mention that paperwork expires and has to be redone, over and over and over, which is time consuming and quite expensive. My home study expires in my state every 12 months, so I am in the process of getting it updated now. I had to have a physical and turn in some documentation about my finances and pay $150. I'll have to do this every year until the baby comes. But that's the easy part. Every 15 months, my fingerprints expire. This year mine will expire in May. I get one free renewal but after that I believe it's about $70 and I have to drive about 2 1/2 hours from here to do it. It takes all day pretty much. And every 18 months, my I-171 (immigration approval) expires. I get one free renewal of that, but then it will cost almost $700 to renew it AND I will have to get the homestudy updated again for the I-171, and this update will be much more extensive than the state's required update. It will cost several hundred dollars since a SW will have to come to my house for this one. With a 7 year wait I'll have to pay for that renewal at least 2 times. So we're talking around $4000 in updating costs during this long wait that someone with a shorter wait wouldn't have to deal with.

And let me also say that my fears go well beyond just having to put my life on hold and pay excessive update fees. My deepest fear is that the adoption is just not going to happen. China is changing. Domestic adoptions within China are supposedly up. Abandonments are supposedly down. China is getting ready to put itself out there as a major world power when the Olympics comes this year to Beijing, and they are not going to want to go back to the old ways after. International adoption is not something they are proud of. World powers should be able to take care of their own children. Whether there are available children or not, I do not believe that China will continue to let foreigners adopt them for much longer. It hurts their image too much. This slowdown is being orchestrated to some extent, in my opinion. I truly believe that this is the beginning of the end. It may be several years before the regular non-special needs program ends, but I think it's headed there. I think the Waiting Child program will continue for much longer though.

At Christmas, I had a revelation of sorts when I realized that my beautiful, sweet, adorable 1 year old niece would be classified as special needs by China because of some minor health issues she has. It made me realize that I could handle certain special needs and that I needed to look into it further. So let me end this post by saying that I am beginning to consider other options including the Waiting Child (Special Needs) program in China. I'm heavily researching the various special needs out there and considering what I might be able to handle. I'm not 100% sure that this is what I'm going to do, but I'm leaning that way. Lots of prayer, talking to others who've done it, and reading about the issues are on my agenda for the next few weeks. I don't want to switch just because it means a shorter wait time. I want to make sure that this is something I really want to do and am capable of doing. So stay tuned. :)

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T14:59:00.000-05:00

Christmas this year was good! My brother, sister-in-law, and 2 nieces are here in town and that's been nice. Mom and I both have colds, but otherwise everything is good. Thankfully I have the whole week off, so I'm just relaxing.

I wanted to leave some pictures of Chinese-inspired Christmas ornaments that my Mom bought me. One is a Hallmark Keepsake Ornament (the little girl and house combo). The rest were bought at Hobby Lobby. They apparantly have a Chinese New Year section with lots of Chinese ornaments for sale. I may go down one day after Christmas to see if they've put any of them on sale. My goal is to someday have enough Chinese-inspired ornaments to have at least a small Christmas tree dedicated to them.

December Referrals and 8 Month LID-iversary

2007-12-18T09:49:00.000-05:00

I totally forgot to post the December referrals this month. I think I was just so irritated by the whole thing that I wanted to try and forget it. But I need to try and post a reminder here so that when this is all done and I have my daughter, I'll remember how agonizing each month was.

They got through Dec. 14, 2005, so it was only 6 days. Based on information I'm reading on other sites, I really don't think it is going to speed up anytime soon. I think averaging 1 week of LIDs a month is going to become the norm at least for the next year. Maybe once the Olympics is over with it will improve, but I'm not even holding my breath for that. At one week per month, I have 5 more years to wait. On the 20th of this month (in 2 days), I will have been waiting for 8 months. Will I survive this wait? I have no idea.

One year ago today...

2007-12-18T09:44:00.000-05:00

I received word that I got a singles slot with my agency.

I can't believe it's been a year!

My state requires our homestudies to be updated once a year, so my homestudy agency contacted me with a reminder yesterday of what I need to do. I have to have another physical, send in an updated financial snapshot (basically income vs. expenses each month), and pay $150.

So here I go again! Although this isn't going to be nearly as painful as the paperchase, it's still a pain. LOL!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-21T13:03:00.001-05:00

And happy 7 months logged in to me (yesterday)! LOL!

This year I am thankful for:

* Selling my house! I close in about 2 weeks and will be moving out this weekend. Hallelujah! I'm going to stay with family for a few months and then buy a newer place closer to work (I have an hour commute now). I am so glad to be out of this money pit. Fixing up an old house sounded really fun when I bought it. Ha ha! Never. Again.

* Being in this horribly long, slow moving line waiting to adopt. Yes, I'm very frustrated about the growing wait. But as a single, I realize that had I not gotten in this line when I did, I never would be able to. So today I am choosing to be thankful that I was moved to action last year instead of waiting another year like I initially planned.

* My family and friends who are all so supportive of the adoption. I read horror stories of people like me who are adopting and how their families and friends just cannot get on board with the idea and it makes me sad.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Referrals are arriving!

2007-11-06T11:38:00.000-05:00

It looks like December 8, 2005 is the new cut off which is a HUGE disappointment to me. Rumors were flying a couple of weeks ago that they would get to at least the 12th which gave me a glimmer of hope, but the 8th just doesn't cut it. The 8th is a few more days than we've seen lately (8 as opposed to 5 or 6), but not enough to indicate any sort of speed up.

With a December 8, 2005 cut-off, that means there are 498 LIDs left until they get to me. If they were to continue to average 8 LIDs per month, that's 62 more months.

And yeah, I know things might speed up. Or they might not. No one knows. But the bottom line is that they haven't done more than 8 days since February of this year.

Uggh.

6 Months Since LID

2007-10-24T19:08:00.001-04:00

Oops! Four days ago I marked 6 months since logging in.

Just waiting to see if in November we finally have a referral batch that is at LEAST 10 or more days. All fingers and toes are crossed. I can't take anymore of these 5 and 6 day referral batches!

Well, they got through November.

2007-10-02T19:22:00.000-04:00

CCAA finally has finished referrals for November 2005. Looks like they got through Nov. 30, but didn't get into December like everyone was hoping. Only 5 days. It's taken SIX months to get through ONE month of LIDs. That's just insane. It's hard to believe that they used to do one month of LIDs every month.

There are lots of rumors that the CCAA is promising to get back to doing 2 weeks of LIDs at a time in 2008. Let's hope they at least do that many. I don't think I have it in me to wait the EIGHT years it's going to take to get to me if they keep only doing 5 days per month.

Please Vote!!!

2007-09-30T18:59:00.000-04:00

Half the Sky is an amazing foundation that does wonderful things for orphanages in China. The founder is in a contest to run with the Olympic torch for the 2008 Beijing olympics. If she wins, she plans on letting 8 children from 8 different provinces in China run with her. So if you haven't yet, please vote for her. This would be a really great boost for Half the Sky.

Click here to vote!

5 months today!

2007-09-20T11:01:00.001-04:00

I almost forgot my LID-iversary once again. Five months down today! No speculating as to how many more are left. LOL!

Congratulations Tracy and Adam!

2007-09-04T18:30:00.000-04:00

Charlotte Rui's referral arrived today amidst lots of chaos and happiness. LOL!

She's a beauty!!

http://emanoff-china.blogspot.com/

One year ago this month.

2007-09-03T14:08:00.000-04:00

September 2006 is when I first really started to consider adoption as a viable option for becoming a Mom. I had thought about it prior to then, but hadn't researched it or given it serious consideration until September.

I cannot believe a whole year has passed since then. At the time the idea was first placed in my heart, I didn't really think I would be able to do it. I didn't think I could afford it. I didn't think I was ready to give up the dream of having a biological child. I won't lie. It was a painful journey to get to this point. When my fiance and I split up in 2004, everything I wanted in life kind of went up in smoke and it was hard to get myself back on track and in a place where I could even be open to alternatives to the traditional family. But I know things happen for a reason. If I had not split with him, I doubt I'd be on this adoption journey, and now I can't imagine NOT being on it.

It feels like it was yesterday. Of course, even though September of last year is when I first started really researching adoption, I didn't tell anyone until October. I didn't send out my first agency application in hopes of a singles slot until October. And I didn't actually get a singles slot until December, and that's when the paperchase started. But September was the true beginning. :)

September Referrals - 4 more days

2007-09-03T14:04:00.000-04:00

They only got through 4 days this month - November 22, 2005 through November 25, 2005.

510 LIDs left before they get to me.

On a positive note, Tracy and Adam will see their baby this week!!!!!

Another long-term referral prediction

2007-08-30T14:56:00.000-04:00

In the RQ forums someone asked about the long-standing rumor that the CCAA has said that beginning in 2008 they will go back to referring two weeks of LIDs per month. While this is not GREAT news, it is still better than the current trend of only 1 week of LIDs per month.

Apparantly the CCAA has told this to over a dozen agencies, so this is a pretty reliable rumor. While it may not actually be true, they are supposedly telling a lot of people that it will happen. We'll see, I guess.

So, if that happens, and they continue to stick to that plan of doing 2 weeks of LIDs per month until long after I receive my referral, I should get my referral in about August 2010. If they have a slow down during the rather large months of March 2006 and April 2007, then I might have to add 2 or 3 more months to that, which would be about a November 2010 referral.

So 3 more years. :( But, that's better than the 6 years it would be if they continued at the current pace.

The funny thing is that when I started this whole process, 2010 is the year that stood out in my head as "THE YEAR". I don't know why. Wait times were not this long when I started the process. But that year just keeps popping in my head.

Of course, a greater speed up than that would be most welcome. LOL!

Oops! 4 months down!

2007-08-21T10:27:00.001-04:00

Yesterday marked 4 months since getting logged in and I forgot to post! LOL!

Happy 4 months to me!

August Referrals! 514 LIDs to go!

2007-08-02T16:22:00.000-04:00

They got through November 21, 2005 this time, which is 7 more days. I think this is actually not bad since November has a lot of people logged in. November 22 is supposed to be huge, so I'm mentally preparing myself for next month. We may only get 1 or 2 days then. Hopefully not, but I'm just trying to brace myself.

The really exciting news is that my good friend Tracy and her husband Adam are logged in November 22, so they are definitely next!!!! I'm so excited for them!!!!!!

3 Months Down!

2007-07-20T11:09:00.000-04:00

Today marks 3 months since getting logged in. On some days it seems to be flying by and on other days the time seems to barely be moving.

What's going on in my life at this 3 month mark?

My family and I went to Disney World a couple of weeks ago and had a great time. We made sure to spend plenty of time in the China section of Epcot and ate dinner at the Nine Dragons restaurant there one night (which was really good!). I can't wait to bring my daughter to Disney. I hope she loves it as much as I do.

Work is crazy busy and I am in the process of hiring an Assistant to help me - Yay!

And that's pretty much it. Other than the Disney trip, not a lot of excitement to discuss.

Rumors for next month's referrals are already starting and several agencies are saying that they will get all the way through November 2005 next month. I wish I could say I believed it, but until it actually happens, I just can't. My prediction is that they'll get through Nov. 21 this time.

A friend needs help.

2007-07-16T13:14:00.000-04:00

A single mom I know from an online business networking group recently lost her home and her 10 year old autistic son in a fire. :(

She needs everything. If anyone is moved to give, the web site can be reached by clicking Gwen Elliott Relief Fund.

I can assure you that this is not a scam or anything of that sort. Please keep her in your prayers too.

Referrals! 521 LIDs to go! :)

2007-07-04T09:39:00.001-04:00

Rumors are pretty strong that they got through November 14, 2005 this time. That's 7 days this month, which leaves 521 LIDs in front of me.

Considering the huge number of people logged in during November 2005, I'm not too surprised. I think it's going to take the rest of 2007 to get through the rest of 2005. But then I really think it will speed up a little. It has to!

Two Months Since LID!

2007-06-20T09:53:00.000-04:00

It's hard to believe, but as of today it's been 2 months since I was logged in with China.

I won't even speculate on how many more months are left in this post. But the good news is that no matter how many months are left, I'm 2 months closer than I was. :)

Good Wishes Quilt

2007-06-08T22:05:00.001-04:00

Here are some of the quilt squares and good wishes I've received so far. I love them all! If any of my friends or family are interested in contributing a quilt square for my baby's Good Wishes Quilt, please let me know!

Referral Analysis and Predictions

2007-06-06T09:58:00.000-04:00

Okay, so after my little meltdown yesterday I got to thinking about things a little more rationally.

Supposedly November 2005, March 2006, and April 2007 are HUGE months in terms of numbers of people logged in. These months are going to take a long time to get through - much longer than the other months.

There are some predictions that it will take 6 months to get through all of November 2005. Let's say those predictions are correct. Let's also say that March 2006 and April 2007 also take 6 months to get through, each.

But the other months in between are much smaller. So let's say that each of those months takes 2 months to get through. There are 15 months. So 15 x 2 = 30.

Let's do the math:

6 months for November 2005 + 6 months for March 2006 + 6 months for April 2007 + 30 months for all the months in between = 48 months.

Now subtract 1 month for November (since that month is behind us), then I can subtract maybe 2 months for April 2007 (since my LID is April 20), and that leaves 45 months.

So I'm going to predict a wait of about 45 months from this point forward for me. That puts my referral coming to me around March 2011.

4 years sucks. But it's better than 7! And of course we can still hope that I'm totally wrong and that it speeds up even more than that.

June Referrals

2007-06-05T15:56:00.001-04:00

Looks like they got from November 2, 2005 to November 7, 2005. That's only 6 days. Uggh.

If you pray, please pray that China speeds things up. At this rate, it will take SEVEN years to get my baby. I don't think I can make it that long. :(

One month since getting logged in!

2007-05-20T19:03:00.000-04:00

One month down, ??? months to go!

Happy Mother's Day!

2007-05-13T09:51:00.000-04:00

Several people have wished me a Happy Mother's Day, which is so wonderful, yet so bizarre! LOL! I know those of you waiting like me (or have recently waited) understand what I'm saying.

So Happy Mother's Day to all my waiting friends, all my friends who have their babies already (both by adoption and by birth of course), and of course to my own Mom who has been my biggest adoption supporter.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!!

rambling thoughts on staying positive

2007-05-01T09:32:00.000-04:00

What I am wanting to get across in this post is that I am the type of person who likes facts. I want to know exactly what I'm getting into, even if the end results aren't what I really wanted. It helps me deal with things to know the worst case scenario. I feel better knowing ahead of time what I'm really facing.

I understand that not everyone is like me. A lot of people prefer to remain in the dark or to just "stay positive". But is facing facts the opposite of staying positive? It isn't in my world. I can face the reality of the long wait for my child and still be in a positive frame of mind.

And that's where I'm at now. Oh sure, I'd LOVE it if China sped up referrals. That's what I hope for. That's what I pray for. However, if they don't, they don't. I know right now I have 534 LIDs in front of me. That's a huge number, yes. But it's smaller than it was last month. And every month that number will go down, bit by bit, until it's my turn. At least I know that the number will never go up. Someday, they will get to me. And that's why I blog with posts like the one before this one. I put that number out there and will keep putting it out there everytime referrals come out. Why? Because I WANT to see the number go down, bit by bit. Some may view that as focusing on the negative, simply because the number is so large and seems to barely be moving. But I choose to look at it as a positive. The number is going down. That's a good thing!

An online friend of mine who started the application process for adopting from Vietnam around the same time I started, got her referral last week and is traveling in a couple of weeks with her husband to pick up their 2 1/2 month old healthy baby girl. While I'm thrilled for them, that was still hard for me to hear, knowing she's already getting her child and I have 3+ years to go. But then I realized that there is a reason for that. There was a reason I chose China and not Vietnam or another country that might move faster, and it's a reason that I can't even explain. It goes beyond the practical stuff, like time for saving more money. It just felt right. I felt led to it.

I remember when I was in college, a friend of mine was considering going to Pharmacy school but was having a hard time deciding if he should. I asked him why he was hesitant and he said "Because by the time I finish, I'll be 26 years old. Do I really want to just be starting my career at age 26?" And I remember kind of chuckling and saying, "You're going to be 26 years old someday anyway. Don't you think it would be better to do what you love at age 26 and beyond, then to do what you hate from age 22 up?"

I try to remember that conversation when I start to get down about the wait. If it's a 2 year wait, I'll be 36 years old, 3 years and I'll be 37, 4 years and I'll be 38, or heaven forbid it takes 5 years and I'll be 39 when I get the baby. But I'm going to have those birthdays whether I'm in line for a baby or not. I would hate to get out of this line and turn 39 with nothing.

So while I may whine a little here and there and focus on things that others may find negative, I know deep down that it will all work out in the end. So to me, that's the crux of staying positive.

So read my blog at your own risk. I'm going to continue to put it out there, continue to analyze the facts, continue to look at the hard numbers. Continue to occasionally whine a little. That doesn't mean I spend all my waking moments moping about it though. I have moments where it depresses me, but overall I am ok.

Right now I'm making plans and enjoying life. This blog may not reflect all of that, but I can assure you that I am doing great. :)

534 LIDs to go!

2007-04-30T14:09:00.000-04:00

Looks like November 1 is the correct cut-off, so that means only 534 LIDs left. LOL! You gotta laugh, right?

November 1???

2007-04-30T09:28:00.000-04:00

Rumor has it that agencies who can view the secret, pay for access, site at CCAA are saying that they have been told that this month's cut off is November 1, 2005. That means they got through 6 days. Two are weekend days, BUT the other 4 days were pretty big days as far as the number of people logged in those days. So, I think this is very good news! It's not a huge speed up, but at least it's better than the 2 days they got through last month. I was unsure they'd get through October this month, and it's looking really promising that they did.

540 LIDs in front of me

2007-04-21T22:19:00.000-04:00

This is probably a way too negative and scary thing to post, but I need the reality check.

There are 540 days between the last LID that received matches (October 26, 2005) and my LID (April 20, 2007). That includes weekends, which usually don't have any people logged in. But for simplicity's sake, I'm including them.

In early April they only matched 2 days. But we're going to go on the assumption that this was just a horrible fluke and that it will never happen again.

So the countdown officially begins. 540 is a huge number. Let's hope for a big jump next month!!

LID! LID! LID!

2007-04-20T11:40:00.000-04:00

April 20, 2007 is my log in date! I am surprised that they found out my LID on my LID. Very fast!

Survivor: China

2007-04-19T11:17:00.000-04:00

From E!Online:

Survivor has voted itself off the island and onto mainland China.

CBS has targeted the world's most populous nation as the location for the 15th installment of the castaway competition, setting the show up to become the first American TV series ever to film an entire season in the communist nation, Daily Variety reports.

The move marks only the fifth time Survivor will be set in a nonisland location. Previous inland settings included the Australian Outback (season 2), Kenya (season 3), Brazil (season 6) and Guatemala (season 11).

The network did not say when or where production on the season would begin.

Though China's censorship policies and strict government regime have traditionally made filming there an unappealing prospect for U.S. entertainment companies, a growing economy has reportedly made officials slightly more open to foreign productions.

Meanwhile, setting the next edition of the reality competition in a nation of 1.3 billion is expected to increase the show's international appeal.

Survivor is currently in the midst of its 14th installment, set in Fiji. The season, which has been averaging 15 million viewers to date, is slated to wrap in a two-hour finale on May 13.

Dossier made it to China

2007-04-13T10:39:00.000-04:00

I got an email today saying that my dossier did in fact make it over to China and is in the hands of the CCAA. It's not logged in yet, but at least the shipping process went smoothly, and the Chinese representative for my agency got it into the CCAA's hands. The email did not say what day it arrived, but it must have taken less than a week.

One step closer to LID!

DTC! 4-6-07

2007-04-09T19:48:00.000-04:00

I got the news today that my dossier was sent to China on Friday April 6, 2007. What a relief!

Could this be my first red thread connection?

2007-04-08T17:44:00.000-04:00

I have this beautiful flowering plant in my front yard that produces the most gorgeous pink flowers (the picture on the left is my plant - click on it to see a full size photo). It's taller than me. It was here when I bought the house last year, so I can't take any credit for planting it. But ever since it started blooming about a month or so ago, I've been obsessed with it. I just love it!

A friend of mine suggested that it was a type of Camellia. So I decided to look up the Camellia since I was not familiar with it. There are over 73 species and many thousands of hybrids. So I'm not 100% sure it is a Camellia but it sure does look awfully close to at least one of the species.

Anyway, in my research, I ran across a note that said that the Camellia was the city flower of Chongqing, China. Chongqing is where around 13 of the orphanages in the international adoption program are located. The description says that Camellias can be found all over Chongqing. Here is one snippet I found:

The City Flower: Camellia, a plant of the camellia family, is a small evergreen tree with 73 different species. It has a long florescence, pollution resistant, and easy to grow. It has bright blossoms of pale red, purplish red, pink, white, or multicolored. Its petals may have a variety of patterns. It has been cultivated in the area of Chongqing for more than 2,000 years. Su Shi (1037--1101), a famous poet of the Song Dynasty, wrote some famous lines in praise of camellia: “With all the pollen taken by the humming bees, / the flowers remain fragrant, sweet as honey.” In Zhiziqiao, Shigang, Banan District, there is still an ancient camellia tree of 400 years old. Camellia can be found everywhere in Chongqing, in parks, scenic spots, in front of the houses, on balconies of tall buildings. Camellia was officially made the city flower of Chongqing in 1986.

　

So could that be my red thread? The red thread myth basically says that people who are destined to be together are often connected in obscure ways before they ever meet.

Is my future daughter from Chongqing? Will she be surrounded by Camellias when she is born? Will they be a familiar site to her?

Maybe not, but it helps me to think of these things. Only time will tell.

Referral Rumors :(

2007-04-05T21:37:00.000-04:00

Rumor has it that this month's referrals only cover TWO DAYS of LIDs. At that rate, it will be 30 years before I get my baby. No joke.

If it turns out to be true, it's possible that the reason for the small batch is that Chinese New Year, which took up a couple of weeks in February, caused a slowdown in the processing of babies' paperwork. I'm hoping that's all it is. There's also a lot of talk about how October and November 2005 have an unusually large number of people with LIDs, which also could cause a slowdown. But two days????!!!!! It has never been that bad before. It just has to be a fluke and not an indicator of how it's going to be from here on out. It just can't.

We should know by Monday exactly what dates are included.

Update: Yes, only 2 days of LIDs were covered. That really stinks!!!

I beat the deadline!

2007-04-03T15:20:00.000-04:00

Yes, that's right. My paperwork is done! Well, my part of the paperwork is done. It has all been received by my agency and they have finished reviewing it. It's currently being translated into Chinese. I got an email today saying that it could take up to a week to get translated but as soon as they got it done, it would head over to China.

I'm still hoping it goes out this Friday instead of next week. But either way, I beat the deadline!

Now I wait for my LID (log in date). I don't expect to get that for several more weeks.

Today's Status

2007-04-02T13:04:00.000-04:00

My authenticated I-171, homestudy, and police report are on the FedEx truck on the way to my house. They should be arriving any time now. When I get home from work, I'll photocopy them and put them back in another fedex envelope and drop them off at the FedEx place before 6:00 so that they'll go out today. My agency will get them tomorrow.

Then I'm done!

Now, when will I be DTC? They have to translate the documents into Chinese first. Normally, this only takes a couple of days. But as luck would have it, referrals are expected this week. That means my agency's staff have to translate those into English and call everyone who got a referral to talk to them about it. That could mean that an extra couple of days will be added on to my translation time.

I would guess that I'll be DTC next week. I'm still hoping that they can rush it through this week, but it will really depend on when referrals arrive. Rumor had it they were supposed to arrive today and they didn't. So maybe that will buy me enough time to get out the door quickly.

I'll keep everyone posted!

Another step closer.

2007-03-28T22:12:00.000-04:00

My dossier consultant emailed me today to say that the 7 authenticated documents they received from me are ok. There was one slight problem with the medical form, but we cleared it up quickly. They won't review the photocopied documents like I was hoping they would, so those will have to wait until the authenticated documents get back from Washington DC.

Speaking of which, they arrived in Washington at my courier's house this morning. I haven't heard back from her, but I hope she takes them tomorrow, picks them up Friday, and I get them back Monday. But we'll see.

Those of you in the process will appreciate these...

2007-03-28T22:04:00.000-04:00

Passed to me from my friend Tracy:

(Those of you not adopting may not get all of them, but believe me when I say that they are spot on!)

China adoptive parents are crazy.......

You might be DTC if:

1. You have stopped stalking the postal carrier.
2. The subject lines of your emails, begin containing more than 3 !!!'s
3. You begin wondering where all this free time came from since you're not
paperchasing anymore.
4. You are subscribed to more than 6 Elist concerning adoptions.
5. You begin to practice squatting for that emergency "pit" stop.
6. You find yourself stalking the local stores for "Baby Clothes" sales.
7. You learn that scrapbook is actually a verb.
8. You start carrying around your 20lb bag of rice to get into shape.
9. Your kitchen table is continually cluttered with all your new Cyber projects.
10. You know more about your DTC friends than your next door neighbor.

You know the wait is getting long when:

1. You start decorating other people's nurseries because you've done everything possible to yours.
2. You start calling all the Chinese names in the phone book
asking them if they have any relatives that work at the CCAA.
3. You have switched from dressing up your 20lb bag of rice to dressing up your cat.
4. Your agency informs you that you aren't required to call twice a day
to make sure that they have your correct phone number on file.
5. The Fed-Ex truck is no longer allowed to drive down your street,
because someone keeps chasing the truck.
6. People at the office start ducking back into their offices when
they see you walking down the hallway.
Especially after you decked the last person that said "Have you heard anything yet?"
7. You start wondering if it would have been faster to have dug a hole to China instead.
8. You have practiced packing your luggage so many times that you have
to buy new luggage becuase the zippers have worn out.
9. What started out as a cute hobby of putting out a ladybug house in the garden,
has turned into a wholesale business of selling ladybugs worldwide.
10. Your husband threatens to be passive agressive by not changing his socks until you get a referral.

You may have received your referral if:

1. You had to replace your keyboard because your "!" key broke since all of your messages contain !!!!!!'s instead of *@(^%

2. FedEx after delivering your referral packet has dropped their restraining order against you.

3. You are in a panic because you have just realized that you only have 6 weeks left to do all your shopping and finish the nursery!

4. You begin to ask yourself how you are going to get those two refrigerator size boxes full of stuff you are taking to China into 2 suitcases and 2 carry ons. (for those Steam Trunks & Crate People)

5. You take out your Carry On Luggage that you packed over 6 months ago and place it by the front door.
(for those Carry On Only People)

6. Co-workers are still ducking into their offices because they CAN'T get you to shut up now about your referral.

7. The FBI recruits you to look for counterfeit money after you have looked at every $100 bill at all your local banks.

8. Since you have finally received "the call", you no longer sit by the phone waiting for it to ring while snarling
at family members who may have wanted to use the phone..

9. After walking around for two days looking like a raccoon, you decide NOT TO even try wearing mascara again.

10. Your husband finally asks "Is there anything we need to do to get ready?"

Today's Update

2007-03-27T11:57:00.000-04:00

The I-171H is on its way to me as I type this. It should arrive by FedEx by 3:00pm today. As soon as I get home from work, I will send it back out with my other 2 documents to the courier in Washington DC. She will get them tomorrow and will get them authenticated at both the State Department and the Chinese Consulate and then FedEx them back to me. If all goes well, I should have everything to my agency by a week from today, or the next day at the latest.

The rest of my dossier has arrived at CCAI (my agency) as of this morning. Yay!

Making my own progress.

2007-03-24T18:22:00.000-04:00

I have my entire dossier (minus the authenticated home study, I-171h, and police report) ready to go to CCAI. I'm overnighting it Monday. I included a photocopy of the non-authenticated home study, I-171h, and police report so that they can at least review it and maybe even start translation. If they will go ahead and work on it, then all they'll have to do is replace the non-authenticated documents with the authenticated documents when they finally get back to me.

Maybe this will help me get DTC a few days quicker. One can hope!

I am going to scream.

2007-03-23T16:46:00.000-04:00

Since my I-171 is still stuck at the Secretary of State's office, I emailed them. A few hours later I get a response saying that they'll have someone work on it Monday.

Crap.

Less than a month ago it was same day service, and now it takes almost a week??? And that's with me bugging them about it!!!!

Anyone want to bet that I will hit yet another snag before this is over???

I cannot believe my luck. I should have had that form back Thursday, and now it will be next Tuesday at the earliest. Every single day is like gold! I don't know how to get this across to the people I am depending on to DO THEIR JOBS!!!

If I wasn't sure government inefficiency was real or not before, I know it is now.

Sheesh.